


Jagged Edges

by Balerion



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Friendship is Magic, Malnutrition, Marauders' Era, Multi, Platonic Relationships, Ravenclaw Severus Snape, Slytherin Lily Evans, Soulmate-Identifying Marks, Soulmates
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-01-27
Updated: 2017-10-01
Packaged: 2018-03-09 07:11:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 13
Words: 32,027
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3240920
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Balerion/pseuds/Balerion
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Soulmates were supposed to be everything you could ever want and need. That's what James believes anyway. Severus doesn't quite agree. From the first train ride to present day, Sev hasn't made it easy, but all he can do is hope. How do you know your soulmate for six years but don't really KNOW them?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Part One

**Author's Note:**

> Soulmates AU featuring snames (aka james potter x severus snape) Going with the fun little soulmarks trope, that soulmates have matching marks they’re born with. 
> 
> Written just for fun and the snames could be unrequited, platonic or romantic, still haven’t really decided. I like to toy with the idea of platonic soulmates, because romantic love isn't the only way people could love each other. I guess it’s really up for my inspiration.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Updated from original on 5/18/16. Now with better language and description.

Two arrows crossed at the middle forming an X on his wrist. The symbol had been a part of him since the day he was born. It felt like a brand, he thought as he sat under the birch tree close to the lake’s edge. He turned a page of his novel and ignored the delighted laughs of his fellow students drifting with the gentle breeze. There was a sudden splash from that direction. One or two voices were laughing riotously while many more were laughing more nervously. Suddenly the laughter stopped and shouting started instead. 

Severus turned a page and read about a world with a different sort of magic and terror holding it hostage. The novel was interesting, a Muggle book that Lily had found during Easter holiday and had passed along for him to enjoy. 

“I thought birds were supposed to be in trees, not under them,” a voice interrupted his bubble of solitude. The dark haired boy furrowed his brow in annoyance at the intrusion and tried to continue his reading. His dark gaze had to reread the same sentence three times thanks to the distraction. 

Suddenly a callused hand snatched the book right out of his hands forcing his dark grey eyes to follow its path to a familiar face with a cocky smirk marring it. The face was classically handsome, tanned darker by long hours in the sun practicing Quidditch. Bright hazel eyes danced with mirth down at him.

“Haven’t you tortured enough of your peers today, Potter?” Severus said with a long suffering sigh, halfheartedly reaching for his book. He schooled his features into a bland expression, trying to exude indifference to the exaggerated pout being focused on him. After years dealing with the teasing and the keep aways from this particular Gryffindor he had lost his answering irritation, instead he resigned himself in order to save his energy. 

Not to say he never rose to James’ bait, but he knew now that to act out would be playing right into his companion’s hand. James loved to prod him into a temper. But a Ravenclaw was too smart to be tricked so easily.

“Aww, so you were watching. I thought you were ignoring me, Sev,” James said cheerfully, his smirk softening into a more sincere grin. He willingly gave the book back then while taking a seat next to the aforementioned boy. The Pureblood leaned against the tree trunk while managing to still invade the other’s space. 

“No, actually, I wasn’t. Shocker. But from the laughs and Lily’s shouting I’d figure you were up to your usual mischief,” Severus said wryly, scooting away from James’ encroaching thigh. James snorted and crossed his arms, “Aww, yes, The Viper.”

“Stop calling her that,” Severus snapped, now fully turning toward the other boy, his eyes flashing and mouth twisted into an angry scowl. So quick to defend the redheaded Slytherin.  
James looked away for a second and was silent, carefree mask making way for his own mark of displeasure. Severus was almost tempted to start reading again when the silence went on for longer than usual, but knowing James he would just take the book away like the child he truly was. He had a habit of being reduced to a 5 year old when ignored. James looked down at his lap, then turned over his wrist to look at his soulmark. 

Severus winced at the sight. The mark that matched his, identical, the same crossed arrows in stark blue against the pale flesh. “She’s nosy, she should really mind her own business,” James finally said, sounding strangely serious compared to his usual defensive tone. Severus rolled his eyes, used to James’ usual rantings about Lily Evan’s interference. 

“She’s right though, you shouldn’t be throwing underclassmen into the lake. You’re a sixth year now, you should be a little more mature,” Severus muttered wearily, knowing James wouldn’t listen to a word he said. Six years of knowing his soulmate had told him that James Potter only does what James Potter wants. “You’re always taking her side,” James pouted, looking at Severus with faked hurt eyes, poorly hiding his jealousy, “I’m your soulmate. You should be more supportive, maybe even agree with me once in awhile.” 

“She’s my best friend. And soulmate or not, you need to grow up, Potter. One day you’ll piss off the wrong person and get cursed into the Infirmary,” Severus scolded halfheartedly. Same song and dance, it was tiring to be ignored when he really meant to help “And you’d visit and nurse me back to health with your clever little hands, right?” James said teasingly, totally ignoring the advice. Instead he slid closer and leaned down to smile down at the paler boy. The Ravenclaw blinked slowly and deliberately to emphasize his unimpressed expression. 

Something must have finally come through to the boy because James’ face turned uncharacteristically dark as he withdrew. 

“I wish for once you’d at least act like you care about me being your soulmate. How’d I get stuck with such a-a-a...unfeeling prick,” he muttered under his breath, hurt swelling in his chest like an inflated balloon. 

Severus hummed, feigning disinterest, looking across the lake thoughtfully, taking on a mocking tone, “I don’t know, maybe the fates mixed us up and our real soulmates are out there wondering where we are.” Sometimes Severus would wake up and forget he had a soulmate, that a shadow didn’t seem to follow him wherever he went, didn’t try to steal away all his time and attention selfishly.

Out of the corner of his eye he saw James freeze like a statue, face slack with shock as if Severus had slapped him. A thread of regret tightened around his heart, making him hesitate to apologize, but suddenly James was grabbing at Severus’ shoulders. He tried to shake the rough hands off, but they only tightened in response. “How can you say that, Sev? All these years, all the things we’ve been through. How can you deny it? Destiny brought us together. We’re soulmates, meant to be. No matter how far we wander, we’ll always find each other,” James said fiercely, his face for once nothing but serious. Severus looked him straight in the eye and saw something like pain. 

The thread tightened around his heart further, making it ache like an echo of James’ own anguish. But his brain refused to accept the words the sweet words as the hands tightened into a bruising grip. “I don’t want destiny or fate or...whatever telling me how to live my life. I’ll make my own choices, I suggest you do the same,” Severus finally said, before violently wrenching away and quickly gathering his things. Before James could move after him, Severus flicked his wand and wordlessly stopped James from standing with a Jelly Leg Jinx.

James whined a little in his throat, frustrated at his inability to follow. Soulmates weren’t meant to turn curses and jinxes against each other. His mum and dad always taught him that soulmates were to be treated gently and lovingly. Cherished. 

It seemed Severus had never learned that lesson if his willingness to throw anything he pleased at James was anything to go by. Though James held on to the knowledge that no matter how frustrated and angry Severus became with him, no matter how his skin flushed hotly and his eyes flashed, he had never sent a harmful curse his way. No, Severus had hurt other students worse in the Dueling Club than he had James during one of their fiercer arguments, and there had been many. 

It was a small notion, but it was really the only sign he’d ever gotten that Severus had held him special in anyway from other students. Except for Lily Evans. James’ thoughts turned to the redhead, who even now was catching up with Severus as she saw him moving towards the castle. 

He could hear her say something and Severus turned toward her like a flower toward the sun, profile showing his charmingly crooked smile on his strangely angular face. James felt his face flush in irritation, almost forgetting the counter curse to the Jelly Leg Jinx as his brain clogged with his usual anger at the female Slytherin student. 

She had known his soulmate for years before he had, sticking with him like glue through the years even when they were sorted into different houses. He still remembered that fateful first train ride towards Hogwarts when he was eleven….


	2. Part Two

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Editted from original on 5/18/16. Now with better language and description.

The air was charged with excitement. Older students, to be seeing all their friends again, and younger students to start their exciting journey to being properly magical. James was anxious to get on the train, to meet new friends and possibly his soulmate. His parents, though, had held him back, checking last minute that he hadn't forgotten anything and that he would promise to stay out of trouble. 

“Remember, James, the world is a great big place. You may not find your soulmate at Hogwarts like you hope,” his mother had said carefully, her forehead creased with worry lines. James laughed a little in response, “No way, I’ll definitely find them at Hogwarts. Like you and dad.” His father had looked down at him fondly, his hand automatically reaching to rest on his wife’s hip out of habit. James smiled a little brighter. 

“Well, even so, don’t be disappointed if you don’t find them right away. I had to wait three years before finding your mother. Soulmarks aren’t always so easy to compare.” James rolled his eyes as his parents chuckled to themselves and anxiously looked at the great clock out of the corner of his eye, “Well, mine is on my wrist, it doesn’t get much easier than that, unless my mark was on my face.” His parents laughed at his cheek and gave up trying to rein him in. His mother smothering him with a hug, while his father gently tousled his messy mop of dark curls. 

James had taken that as his approved dismissal and ran off into the train, yelling back his goodbyes to his teary mother and proud father. Once on the train he hunted down the kid he had first seen upon arriving to Platform 9 and 3/4. He had been making faces behind his mother’s back as she chatted with other adults and somehow James knew that they’d get along famously. The kid’s name turned out to be Sirius and he was also a pureblood. James thought it strange that they’d never met before but Sirius had said his family was a bit more “conservative”. Whatever that meant.

Even so, they had become fast friends, going through each compartment searching for other first years to collect. They’d found a pale looking boy in one compartment, looking uncomfortable in a room full of fourth year girls who were talking faster than the train was moving. He’d gladly left with them and introduced himself as Remus in the comparatively quieter corridor. He had a gentle tone that at first suggested a shy nature, but James quickly deduced it had more to do with being nervous about meeting new people than being a timid individual. Once they had introduced themselves and chatted some about chocolate frog card collections the wan brunette seemed to perk up into a more social companion.

The next few first years they met with were ones James and Sirius had known from their family’s social circle. The three of them seemed to somehow understand that they were not to be asked to join. James later explained that the girl with the yellow hair was clingy, had tried to “marry” him last summer at her parent’s anniversary party, even though they were obviously not soulmates. Not with the curly cue soulmark present on the skin right behind her ear.

Sirius had countered with a story about the twitchy little brunette boy in the next compartment and how he liked to skulk around his parents’ parties, stealing cookies away in the corner and running away when older kids even sneezed in his direction. Remus had frowned at their mocking stories and gently reminded them that Hogwarts was giving them a new start, a second chance.

James and Sirius had shared a look and silently agreed to get the naive boy to socialize a little more. Even at eleven, people didn’t change too much from who they always would be. Sometimes it had more to do with how you were raised after all. Eventually they had stopped looking for new companions, content to be just the three musketeers, when they happened upon the compartment at which the snack cart had stopped.

A grumble from their three stomachs brought them over to the compartment where two small figures were sitting. The girl was a redhead with long shiny hair, while the boy was small with a pale little face obscured by limp black hair. Their hands were linked even as the girl reached for the two pumpkin pastries the snack witch was handing her. Sirius and Remus immediately attacked the cart while James stared thoughtfully at the two little hands grasping each other. “Are you soulmates?” James asked curiously as Sirius shoved some treats into his arms while stuffing his own face. 

The girl looked surprised and glanced at the boy a second. “No, we’re best friends. Neither of us know anyone else here,” she said, her voice confident and unapologetic. James looked at them curiously and grabbed her arm impulsively, wrenching it away from the boy. The boy scowled angrily as his arm got jerked in the process, but didn’t say a word.

James turned her arm to see her wrist and then the other before she’d wrenched both her unblemished arms away, going off on a tirade on manners and the importance of keeping your hands to yourself. Next to her the boy’s face slowly melted into a fond half smile and his dark eyes twinkling in amusement. Somehow James noticed all that while completely ignoring what the redhead had said. 

He quickly snapped out of it when she finally threw an apple at his head in frustration at being ignored. James noted the small noise of amusement that escaped the boy’s mouth before focusing again on the girl. Her green eyes met his, flashing dangerously and crossing her arms. “Didn’t your parents teach you that you shouldn’t grab people?” “Sorry, I’m on the lookout for my soulmate,” James confided, confused right after he said it why he had given that tidbit of knowledge away. The words seemed to have just forced themselves out.

From the corner of his eye he noticed the boy pale further and look away with his hands folded into his lap. The girl raised an eyebrow and gestured at the ground. “My soul mark is on my feet,” she said dryly. James didn’t even try to stifle his laugh. Behind him, seated on the leather cushions, Sirius and Remus exchanged a look and then continued munching, watching with a little more interest as the conversation turned to the legendary soul marks. 

Everybody had them. Born with them on various parts of their bodies, one of a pair to which the other belonged to your “soulmate”. Wizards, witches, Muggles, everyone had a soulmate. In the olden days to find your soulmate used to take years, but nevertheless would always eventually happen as destiny would intervene. Be it a missed train forcing two people to be within the same vicinity of each other. Or a chance of exposed skin being revealed to the right person. Nowadays with travel became easier and Hogwarts being a central educational institution for wizards finding your soulmate in the wizarding world had become a sooner in life occurrence. Many a Muggleborn would find their Pureblood soulmate, in which they wouldn’t for all the distance the United Kingdom afforded. 

Finding one’s soulmate was a favorite topic of fiction in both the wizarding and muggle world. James had grown up seeing the dedicated love between his parents, who had found each other at the legendary wizarding school. His mother called him a romantic. He just knew that something inside him was calling for the other half of his soul. 

Even with all the people that surrounded him during his childhood; the maids, the butler, the groundskeeper, the cooks, he had always felt alone, like there was something, someone reaching out for him out there. The only comfort when the feeling got particularly strong was the presence of his parents, their pure love for each other a balm for his aching soul. He shuddered at the thought, such sappiness. He wasn't a romantic but his soul was apparently. Or maybe it was his heart. Was he the only one who felt that way about finding his soul mate, no one else seemed to have that same determination as he.

“Your feet?!” James burst out, a laugh tickling his voice and forcing a rudely amused grin on his face. Lily’s eyes narrowed and she stood up, drawing herself to her full height proudly. James grudgingly noticed she was an inch or two taller than him. The dark haired boy seemed to notice his thought process and wore a grin mirroring the one he had on a second before. “Yes, my feet. They are very lovely and I would like to see you have a better soulmark than me.”

“Aw, man, they’re about to have a pissing contest,” Sirius stage whispered to Remus, laugh clear in his voice. Remus quickly shooshed him and sat back a little as if to watch a great play unfold. 

“Mine is on my wrist,” James said proudly, holding it up but not revealing the design. The girl made a strange noise in her throat and seemed to change from angry to surprised in less than a second. “Severus, your mark-!.” “LILY!” the boy grit out angrily. Now all the attention strayed to the quiet boy next to the fiery girl. James took a better look at the boy, who quickly hid his wrist by hugging it to his chest fiercely. 

James noticed more details now about the boy. He wasn’t just pale but looked a little sickly, like he hadn’t had a proper meal in a while, and his hawk-like nose was quite big in comparison to his smaller, more delicate features. His hair fell limp about his face, straight and dull. All of which was in stark contrast to his bright, intelligent eyes, seemingly black until the sunlight lightened them to dark, frosty grey. 

He squirmed under the inspected and turned his face away. A complicated expression marring his face making it hard to decipher. “Sorry, Sev,” Lily said sincerely, reaching out to squeeze his shoulder. James’ hand moved of its own accord and he halted a few inches from touching that same shoulder. The boy, Severus, didn’t seem to notice, but Sirius and Remus watched silently ensnared in the scene before them while Lily scowled disapprovingly at their friend.

“Sev doesn’t liked to be touched by strangers,” she finally said, batting his arm away, warning clear in her voice. She looked like a mama bear protecting her cub. 

“I can stand up for myself, Lil,” Severus said sullenly, refusing to turn in their direction. For some reason that ruffled James’ feathers. “Well, let’s see it then,” he finally said, putting all his irritation into his voice. Using the tone he’d heard his mother direct at him when he had either done something either naughty or bothersome. 

Severus turned toward him with an impressive sneer. James would have been quite impressed if he hadn’t been staring instead where the wrists were pressed safely against the boy’s thin chest. He eyed the right one, as his own soul mark was on his left. When his eyes finally drifted up to Severus’ eyes they stared stubbornly back, jaw locked like he was preparing for something unpleasant. 

James’ chest constricted for a second, very aware of the powerful pounding of his heart. His eyes darted to Lily, who was watching Severus in concern. “Does it look like this,” he finally demanded, thrusting his wrist under Lily’s nose. 

Her shock was apparent and James cried out in wordless triumph. Severus focused hurt eyes at his friend and Lily murmured soft apologies as James used the distraction to yank at Severus’ arm and verify what Lily had all but confirmed. Right there on a thin, bony wrist was the mark he had been looking at every morning and every night for all his life. 

This time instead of constricting his chest filled up with a warm feeling and the smile James wore could have been on there permanently. Meanwhile Severus seemed to slump in defeat and a little lost. Lily was torn between trying to comfort Severus and wanting to throttle James. 

“You must join Gryffindor,” James finally said, sitting down on Severus’ other side and smiling brightly like the sun. Severus turned, letting Lily’s supportive arm slip from his shoulder. “And why would I do that?” he asked, no longer a quiet mouse, but answering with a tone that was cold and barely civil. His eyes were burning angrily, but James refused to diminish under that gaze. The rapt attention actually made his heart skip.

“You’re my soulmate! Now that we found each other we should be in the same House, it would make everything a lot easier. ”

Severus scoffed and clenched his jaw again. “And if I decided I’d rather be in Slytherin?” he asked bitterly, already feeling exhausted.  
James’ jaw comically dropped, making both Sirius and Remus stifle their laughter into their elbows. “What? No, no way. My soulmate would never be in Slytherin. No, nope, nope.” 

“He’s not your possession, soulmate or not. He can do whatever he likes” Lily cut in before Severus could react himself. “No, but destiny put us together for forever. Why fight it?” James said boldly, very matter of factly. Stubbornly. 

Suddenly Severus stood, shakily, gaining four stares from the occupants of the compartment. “I’m going on a walk,” he announced without looking at anything in particular. “Don’t follow me,” he said sharply as James made to stand. And then he was gone before anyone else could speak or act.

The compartment went completely silent. “I’m Sirius, by the way,” the shaggy haired preteen piped up when the silence went a little too long, gaining Lily’s attention. “And this is Remus. Nice to meet you, Lily, was it? I have a feeling we’ll all be spending some time together the next seven years.” 

Remus snorted at Lily’s unamused moue. “Unfortunately,” Lily muttered, eyeing James with disdain, which he chose to ignore in favor of thinking on what had just occurred. Slowly the bright smile returned and he resolved to think of the first interaction as a fluke. 

All would be well as soon as he and Severus were sorted into Gryffindor and spent the next seven years together and after that. 

No, James wasn’t a romantic, but he was crazily excited to have found met his soulmate so soon. He’d known destiny wouldn’t make him wait very long.


	3. Part Three

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Edited from original on 5/18/16. Now with better language and description.

“Evans, Lily,” Professor McGonagall's voice rang out across the silent Hall. Severus squeezed her hand quickly and she replied with an anxious smile back. She lifted her chin in determination and threw a sneer towards Potter as she passed him. Her mind raced and as the Sorting Hat alighted on her head, a calm voice invaded to bring it to a screeching halt. 

“Anywhere but Gryffindor,” she thought hastily before the Hat’s voice could put in its two cents. “You could be really good in Gryffindor. You’re a daring girl and you have a lot of honor in you. Gryffindor would be a wonderful fit!” 

“No, no, I can’t. Give me anywhere but there!” 

“Hmmm, you are a true friend and full of so much drive and potential. You very well could flourish in SLYTHERIN!” The Hat said the last word aloud, and Lily let out the breath she was holding. The table with the green trimmings were clapping and there were a few polite smiles smiles from the more reserved bunch. 

They were not as rowdy as Gryffindor, nor as loud as Hufflepuff, but they were also not as nonchalant as the Ravenclaw seemed to be. They seemed to pay a closer attention to her than when she had first been called up. Lily looked back before she stepped away from the stool.

She saw Severus grinning weakly, trying to be encouraging through his own nerves. She saw Remus politely clapping along, a peaceful smile and warm light in his eyes. She saw the others waiting to be sorted, looking half queasy-half excited. And finally she saw Potter looking confident with his posture relaxed and his smile warm. 

All the while his eyes stayed on Severus, whom didn’t seem to notice or rather pretended not to notice. The rigid posture and the refusal to look anywhere but straight ahead was all the tell she needed. Lily could read Severus like a book.

A strange, yet familiar urge washed over her, something like protectiveness. Something she always associated with Severus Snape, particularly when he would come meet her with a new bruise on his cheek or a gingerness in his step. It was overprotectiveness and something else she had never felt before. Something like jealousy but also a little scared. For so long there had been a world of just Lily and Severus, the two neighborhood kids that strange things seemed to happen around. They had lived so long treating each other like they were the only other person in the world who could understand them.

And Lily had loved it. She had a best friend that didn’t flinch away when animals seemed to follow them or plants seemed to suddenly grow at her touch. And she never batted an eye at Severus’ uncanny knack for healing faster than should be possible. Too fast for any adult they encountered to question the injuries that would otherwise be suspect. 

One morning his eye could be swollen almost shut, and Lily would beg for him to follow her home, have her mother look it over. But by lunchtime it looked little more than pink eye, and by the time they were done their afternoon adventures it was like nothing had happened the night before. Only she knew the truth, only Severus trusted her and let her into his world. Now that smiling, smug four eyes was a threat to their world. 

She wanted to push him away and snatch Severus to keep him from something she couldn’t protect him from. She knew Severus had reservations about soulmates, something to do with his parents, but the other boy didn’t seem to sense his reluctance. Or ignored it.

As she sat amongst her new housemates she watched eagerly as the commanding witch called out more names. Wishing, as Potter was sorted into Gryffindor with the Hat barely on his head, that Severus would be Sorted to Slytherin with her.

James settled down next to Sirius and Remus who clapped him on the shoulder in turn. There was still a handful of students left to be sorted. Smith had just been sorted into Hufflepuff, and James waited in anticipation as McGonagall patiently waited for the Yellow and Black table to stop their cheers. 

“Snape, Severus,” the crisp voice beckoned forward and Severus step up more calmly than his blanched face betrayed. He sat on the stool gingerly and closed his eyes when the Hat was placed on his stringy locks.

“2 Sickles says he’s in Slytherin,” an older boy muttered down the opposite end of the bench from James. The bespeckled boy chanced a glare at the 3rd year before looking back to his soulmate. He was biting his lip as the Hat continued to be silent and a wrinkle formed on his brow as the silence stretched what seemed like longer than usual. In reality it was only 5 seconds until the Hat cheerfully exclaimed “Ravenclaw!” and the blue and bronze table seemed to be a little caught off guard before politely once more clapping for the boy. 

Severus didn’t hesitate to pull the Hat off and hurry over to his clapping table. He was looking across the Hall at the green and silver table, and James watched in jealousy as Severus gave a wave toward that redheaded girl who seemed to be trying to cover up a disappointed frown. James stared some more even as the Headmaster gave his speech and then blessing to eat. Severus sat with his back to the Gryffindor table. He didn’t even bother looking around for him. Sirius handed off a bowl of mashed potatoes and James was forced to move on to his growling stomach. Though, the tightening of his throat made it hard to swallow.

Severus breathed out again trying to slow his beating heart. He had been afraid that the Hat would ignore his argument against Gryffindor. Seemed like the Hat was getting pretty fed up with refusals by the time he’d gotten to the “S” surnames. All he knew was as soon as the Hat was on him he had demanded that he not be put in Gryffindor. 

The Hat had seemed perplexed but had offered some insight to the House of Courage, which Severus had shut down at every turn. He’d been half convinced the Hat would announce the house anyway, just out of spite. But instead it had switched gears to wits and curiosity, and had announced Ravenclaw before Severus knew what was happening.

His only regret was that he couldn’t be in Slytherin with Lily. It had been his mother’s House and she would speak fondly of it. But in the disaster of his soulmate ambushing him on the train he hadn’t thought that far to what he’d been wanting since he knew what Hogwarts was. Still, Ravenclaw was a respectable House, probably his second choice if he was being completely honest. It was also a little exciting, to see what it would be like and if he could be up to the challenge of being considered among the most intelligent of his year.

“Severus Snape, I am Gretchen Romain,” a girl with a tight braid running down her back and whiskey colored eyes said as she slid into the vacant seat next to him. She held out her hand and gave a firm handshake before continuing. “I will be your upperclassman mentor,” she said with a no nonsense tone as she started to spoon food on his otherwise empty plate. 

“My what?” Severus asked in confusion, only just noticing the other upperclassmen who seemed to be engaging his fellow first years.

“Ravenclaw tradition is for a Fourth Year Ravenclaw to be paired with a First Year addition to our House as a sort of mentor to transition you to Hogwarts. The idea is to bring you up to speed the fastest way possible. Often other Houses let their first years muddle through as a sort of rite of passage, but our forefathers in Ravenclaw saw that as foolish, for obvious reasons,” Gretchen said without so much as a pause in her food gathering. 

Once the plate was full she slid it closer to Severus and deliberately handed him a fork. “I’m here to make sure you don’t get lost on your way to class and any questions you have can be answered swiftly. Also to make sure to stay healthy, it’s hard enough being away from home so early without someone making sure you have healthy balanced meals. You’ll be amazed how many underclassman try to get away with only eating sweets. Madame Pomfrey’s stock of Cardimona Potion is always particularly low by the end of autumn term,” the auburn haired girl said as she narrowed her eyes, demanding silently that Severus eat. He slowly brought a forkful of sausage to his mouth and she nodded as if she had accomplished her task.

“There are some things of course I will let you know. First being that our tower is on the west side of the castle, complete opposite of Gryffindor.” Severus mentally sighed in relief and scooped up some of the mash potatoes. 

“There is no password to our dormitory, rather you must answer the bronze raven’s riddles. First years usually have it rather easy, but as it starts to recognize you it will become more difficult. If ever you need assistance there should be a Ravenclaw student in the library most likely that you can ask for help. Though if the Hat put you here it’s more likely you won’t need much help past the first month.” 

Severus swallowed the heavenly mash and scooped up some more to prevent himself from telling her the Hat wanted him in Gryffindor first. He quickly decided that it would be smart to let her talk and try not to make himself seem like a silly first year. There was something about her demeanor that made him want her to like him, prevent her from regretting being stuck with him. It was a feeling he sometimes had when he was with Lily, back home. Scared she’d one day abandon him and laugh at him with her horrid sister.

“Do you have any questions?” Gretchen asked as she concluded her speech. She watched approvingly as he ate more broccoli and simultaneously reached to add more potatoes to his plate. Severus frowned and shook his head, feeling a little overwhelmed to have her insightful brown eyes solely focused on him. It unnerved him a little, reminded him of a certain hazel pair of eyes that he’d felt watching his every move. 

The fourth year seemed to sense his mood because her expression relaxed and she gave an awkward smile. It softened her sharp features and she looked a little like if Lily had a distant cousin. They both had the same sharp eyed, no nonsense expression. His lips twitched in response. “You will get used to things here. I’m sorry if I’m going too fast for you,” she murmured as she helped herself to a roll while adding another to his plate as well. 

“Why do you keep doing that?” Severus said irritably before he could contain himself. He grabbed the roll and tore it in half, not letting his frown convey how soft and delicious he found it. 

“Because frankly, you’re skin and bones and really need to be taught how to take care of yourself,” Gretchen said directly, her features back to being sharp. But he could tell it was more in concern now than formality. The dark eyed boy wasn’t used to anyone except Lily really taking the time to worry after him. 

Something tugged at his sternum ,and he had to resist the urge to turn around and look at the table closest the Hall doors. He squashed the tugging feeling down and instead focused on his new self-proclaimed mentor. 

His first instinct was to protest, say he didn’t need to be looked after. That he’d been taking care of himself for as long as he could remember. But then he looked around the table at the well mannered Ravenclaw students, with their ties on perfectly straight and their hair perfectly styled. He looked at Gretchen who was calmly cutting her meat into bite sized pieces, her every move precise and meaningful. Her amber brown gaze met his and she raised her brow as if in challenge. He slowly put down the roll he had been tearing and picked up a fork and knife. Silently they both went back to eating their respective meals, occasionally breaking the silence to ask and answer a question or for Gretchen to add more to Severus’ plate.

By the end of the meal Severus was full like he hadn’t felt in a very long time, but also determined. As the group of Ravenclaws stood and all migrated as a group to their common room, each first year sticking close to their fourth year counterparts, Severus observed and his mind raced. If he was to be a Ravenclaw he would have to strive to make them proud, not to be the oddball of the group. He would honor the House and Gretchen would be proud. He smiled crookedly at her as she prevented him from stepping on a trick step. 

“The trick is to analyze every step and you’ll be able to see a slight discrepancy in the construct,” Gretchen instructed him as he mentally took notes. Already Severus’ brain felt like a sponge soaking up all the knowledge and advice the auburn haired girl said. He absently wondered how he could of thought Slytherin was a superior choice. Ravenclaw would give him something that Slytherin could not, knowledge and a challenge to his intelligence that no book or class could give on its own. To be surrounded by peers of his equal intelligence.

~~~  
As James watched Severus leave with his House he couldn’t help but notice how close he stood to a tall fourth year girl with a long auburn braid. “Your boy moves fast,” Sirius observed as he crudely stuffed more roast beef into his mouth. James sent him a half hearted glare as Remus rolled his eyes. Suddenly he was up on his feet and his friends shared a look before following after him. 

They tried to stay in the shadows as they crept along but occasionally they would get stuck on a staircase that switched places or a step that sucked their trainers down like quicksand. But they were able to keep up as the upperclassmen seemed to be taking their time to tell the first years about various statues and portraits that would chime in to make conversation. More then once they had to tug Remus along to stop his examination of various interesting works of art, and Sirius would mutter about not being able to find Gryffindor rooms after their escapade.

James ignored the chatter and kept the pale, raven-haired boy within his view as much as he could. As they finally reached the entrance the three boys ducked behind a statue of a golden sphinx to watch the Ravenclaws encourage the first years to answer the riddle the talking brass knocker asked them. It was in the shape of a raven’s head and had a strange lyrical way of talking. 

As the first years pondered the riddle, James watched Severus’s face crumple in thought. He was so pale, the hazel eyed youth wondered if he spent any time out in the sun. And his hair was so limp and stringy, as if it hadn’t been washed with anything resembling shampoo. He had a nose that was hooked and in general he looked so skinny, not even the long, patchy black robes could hide the hollow of his cheeks or the sharpness of his collar bone peeking out. His trainers were worn and the laces were raggedy. James self consciously looked at the brand new shoes his mother had bought him for his “big day.”

He frowned in thought and almost missed the answer to the riddle that one first year finally said. The Ravenclaws started to move through the door that opened upon the correct answer and James heard Severus’s voice clear as a bell telling the girl that he’d known the answer. 

“You should have spoken up,” she said both scolding and encouraging. “You don’t always need to be right, Severus. Despite common myth, Ravenclaws aren’t always right. We aren’t just known for our intelligence but also for our truth seeking. It’s more important to be willing to find the right answer than to just know it. So don’t worry about being embarrassed about being wrong. Sometimes even if you have logic behind your answer the raven can be persuaded with.” 

Severus nodded at her words and James had to admit the intent expression on his face was kind of cute. Suddenly Gretchen turned around and looked James straight in the eye. “I think you have a visitor, Severus. Would you like me to keep the door open while you two talk?” she asked her mentee, all while glaring at the three boys in suspicion. 

“No, that’s fine, I think I can get myself through,” Severus said confidently, all while keeping in any signs of distress. Gretchen gave him one last examining look before going through the slowly closing door. Once the door was closed and sealed, he glared at James as he crossed his arms expectantly. 

“I just wanted to...” James started but his words caught in his throat. Severus raised his eyebrow and cocked his head. “He wanted to see where you’re going to be in case he ever wants to find you,” Sirius spoke up helpfully. “You know to make sure you’re doing alright and in case you want to talk,” Remus rushed in to try to save the line of conversation.

“Ok....” Severus said impatiently, “Was that it?” He looked James straight in the eye; hazel and dark grey. “And, I wanted to say. To say...” James pushed up from his crouch and rushed over. Severus startled but James wrapped his arms around him. “Good night and sweet dreams.” James squeezed him, felt just how skinny and tense he was, before letting him go. Severus looked spooked even as James stepped away. 

“Right, so I think we should be going, now,” Remus finally said. Sirius was hiding his face in a tapery, body visibly shaking with muffled laughs. Remus turned and hit the back of his head before starting down the hallway. Sirius followed shortly, tiny snickers still escaping. James waited for Severus to say something but he just stood there, watching him warily like he thought James was going to do something... well James wasn’t sure what he was thinking but definitely nothing good.

“Right, I’ll see you for breakfast,” James said, offering a decidedly shy smile, something the boy didn’t really do often. James was anything but shy. Severus nodded stiffly and backed away toward the knocker. James nodded awkwardly and also backed away until Remus finally came back to yank him along. Before they turned a corner James dared to look back and saw Severus stepping through the Ravenclaw entrance like the dogs of hell were right behind him.


	4. Part Four

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I feel like I had fun with this chapter simply because I liked the idea of giving each House a personality unlike the others. And the first impression of them I think says a lot. You'll see how I tried to differentiate between them. I had an especially fun time with Slytherin. Because I think there's a lot more to it than how HP perceived it in the series. 
> 
> I hope everyone enjoys this chapter because I think this may be the longest so far.
> 
> Edited from original on 5/18/16. Now with better language and description.

The next morning saw Severus walking with his fellow first years to breakfast in the Great Hall. He trailed the group of 23 new Ravenclaws with a group he had been seemingly initiated into the night before. The group consisted of Patina Mathers, Mithian Silverstone, Angelo Jones and Dansforth Fidor. They were not as stuffy as Severus had thought Ravenclaws would be.

Instead, they had been insightful and thoughtful about the days to come. Trading stories about what they had heard from parents and siblings. Patina was the only Muggleborn in their small group but she was quick to pick up on things once they were explained to her. She was sweet but with a witty sarcasm that Severus usually associated with himself.

They were all in their own way special and unique, and, admittedly, Severus was surprised that they wanted him as a friend. He was so used to Lily being the only person to give him the time of day before he’d come to Hogwarts. He was slightly overwhelmed but he was slowly getting more comfortable with them the longer they all talked. He’d even chosen a bunk next to Angelo who spoke with him well into the night before sleep had finally claimed him. 

The Hall was mostly empty except for a few early risers. Most were at the Ravenclaw table. They see take “early to bed, early to rise makes a man healthy, wealthy and wise” to heart. Gretchen was among them and Severus found himself gravitating towards her, taking a seat to her right. 

It must have been because she reminded him of Lily, he definitely felt a need for some sort of normalcy following the last 24 hours. Being at Hogwarts was different than he had thought it would be. Along with not thinking he would find his soulmate quite so soon, he had not predicted being a part of Ravenclaw House with its tower dormitory that overlooked the picturesque village of Hogsmeade. He had stayed up long after Angelo had fallen asleep looking at the distant lights of the hidden magical village.

His mother never told him much of Hogsmeade, but he was curious what it would be like to be among not just magical children but adults who were the same as he. To be in the society that accepted his gifts and embraced it. He’d sat up much the night just quietly gazing out, his bed too soft to let him sleep, the place too strange despite finally feeling a measure of safety. He found that homesickness did not even infiltrate his mind, but rather a doubt. That this was all too good to be true, and that was what kept him from falling prey to more than a couple hours sleep.

“Sleep well, Severus?” Gretchen asked pleasantly as she sipped her milky tea. Severus mumbled a reply and started piling toast and sausage on his plate. Over night he had seemed to gain a new appetite that he hadn’t had before. Gretchen watched him with an amused smile on her face.

For a good 10 minutes Severus was content to stuff his face with toast, buttered with smears of blackberry jam on top, with sausages and scrambled eggs in between, and listen to his new friends chat about the schedules that had just been handed out. Herbology with Slytherin was the first class and Severus would be able to start the year off with Lily. He smiled faintly as Patina and Mithian started to argue about something silly like quidditch or football. He was just bringing a forkful of egg to his mouth when a sudden wave of dizziness and nausea hit him. The clang his falling fork made against his plate drew a few looks. His friends stopped their argument and even Gretchen had set her teacup down in concern.

“Alright, Severus,” Dansforth asked across from him, clearly seeing something wrong in his expression. Severus made to answer but the overwhelming urge to vomit and the loud pounding of his pulse in his ears made him clench his jaw. Patina grasped his shoulder in concern ,frowning as she felt the tremor going through his body. “Severus, come. I’ll escort you to the Hospital Wing,” Gretchen said softly, rising from her seat with her hand outstretched. 

Severus stumbled as he tried to stand, dizziness making his head swim and the urge to throw up increased 10 fold. Remembering vaguely seeing a bathroom last night he ran off, startling some Hufflepuff students that had been just entering the Great Hall. He thanked whoever was listening as he found a stall through his haze of confusion. A twittering girl voice echoed in alarm as he forcefully threw up all that he’d eaten that morning and possibly the night before. He was still gasping for breath when the doors to the lavatory banged open and Angelo and Danforth’s worried voices called out. Severus grunted a painful reply before dry heaving again, feeling his insides squirm within him. 

“Severus, here,” came Gretchen’s strong voice as she forced herself into the stall, crouching next to him and handing him a goblet of water. He used it first to wash out his mouth and then drank the cool water feeling it plunk into his empty stomach uncomfortably.

“Do you still feel as if you’ll be sick?” Gretchen asked as she took the now empty goblet, handing it to the first year behind her. Severus shook his head, keeping his mouth firmly shut as a precaution. “And do you feel dizzy at all?” Severus shook his head again, this time slower. Gretchen gave him an assessing look before taking him by the arm and slowly helped him stand. Dansforth made to take her place as his crutch but Gretchen waved him away. “You two, thank you, but get back to the Great Hall, I’ll take Severus to the Hospital Wing.”

“But-” “No,” Gretchen interrupted as she lead the sick first year to the door. “We needn’t attract attention by having a whole entourage come. I’m sure Severus would appreciate a more discreet route.” The dark haired boy hummed softly in agreement and let Gretchen support most of his weight as they entered the corridor. 

The two other boys reluctantly went back where Patina and Mithian sat waiting in concern.

“Madame Pomfrey will know what to do. She’s a gifted mediwitch. She’s even let me help her in the Hospital Wing. You see I want to become a Healer,” Gretchen spoke soothingly all the way to the infirmary, sure to stop anytime Severus showed any signs of dizziness or confusion. She bit her lip as Severus blinked his eyes rapidly and his already pale complexion drained of any color he had. “Almost there, Sev,” the auburn haired girl whispered as she practically dragged him along. They had thankfully avoided all students on the way there. 

“Madame Pomfrey, please come help!” Gretchen called as she finally got Severus through the doors. The curly haired witch hurried over, effectively using her wand to levitate Severus gently onto the nearest bed. 

“Oh my, first day back and already here, my dear. Certainly not the record but not a particularly wonderful way to start the term,” she chatted trying to distract him as she waved her wand over him like a scanner. Severus could barely tell what she was saying as his thoughts started to go foggy and his heart seemed to beat painfully fast.

Madame Pomfrey’s brow furrowed in concern as her incantation proceeded to show her results. “Gretchen, dear. Go to my office and get me the pale blue bottle from the second to bottom shelf.” The Ravenclaw hurried to obey and the mediwitch grabbed a goblet from her desk along with a bright yellow vial. She mixed the vial’s contents with pumpkin juice. “I need you to sit up, dear. You’ll need to drink this.”

Severus obeyed, swiftly laying against the headboard and opening his mouth hesitantly. The witch tipped the contents of the goblet into his mouth slowly, waiting patiently as he swallowed every so often. Slowly the haze started to lift from his mind, instead leaving a headache in it’s stead. Still, it was a relief to be able to be clear eyed again, noticing Gretchen waiting patiently to the side with the blue vial in hand.

Once he had drunk all that was in the cup Madame Pomfrey mumbled another incantation over him, blue and pink ribbons formed words over him that the two ladies in the door looked at intently. “The worst has seemed to have been taken care of,” Madame Pomfrey announced as she gestured for Severus to lay back again.

She took the blue vial and set it by the boy. “I’m going to have you rest before your next potion is given. It will be somewhat harsh on your stomach. I have to send a message to Professor Slughorn to bring me some ingredients up because I have to brew you some special new elixir for your malnourishment. It is something that does not stay effective long otherwise we would have it stocked.”

“Mal-malnourishment?” Severus mumbled sleepily, trying to comprehend what was going on around him. Madame Pomfrey smiled sadly at him. “Yes, my dear, your illness was caused by eating too much too fast after having gone for so long with a subnutricious diet. I had to correct what the sudden intake of food had imbalanced. It has the added bonus of making you particularly drowsy, so I will wake you when you will take your supplement and anemia potion.” she gestured at the potion on the table. 

“In addition to malnourishment it has lead you to a state of anemia caused by iron deficiency. I will explain more when you wake, but for now don’t fight your sleepiness, it will help strengthen your body after that trauma.” Severus mumbled in compliance and his eyes slowly blinked closed. The last thing he saw before he dropped off was Gretchen’s frowning face looking at him worriedly.

~~~

The morning for Lily had started off with the sound of the fire still crackling in the hearth. She had groggily awoke and saw that all her new housemates were still asleep, the warmth from the fireplace casting a welcoming sleepiness about them. While dungeons were notoriously supposed to be cold and damp, the actuality was that it was quite cozy. Plush green rugs lined the stone floors, the thick, intricate drapery kept out any chill, the mattresses and sheets were soft as clouds and the thick, emerald blankets felt like a pleasant cocoon. 

Lily had delighted the night before at the many moving and speaking portraits in the common room, the many lounge chairs and leather sofas arranged around tables like a cigar lounge from one of those old gangster movies. The room had spoke of old money and opulence of which Lily felt at first awkward, but then she spoke with her housemates who talked about their dreams for the future and she started to see how the surrounding could inspire for a prosperous life.

For eleven year olds they were all really certain of what they wanted. Many of the upperclassmen had smiled at the young enthusiasm, humoring them despite some wild proclamations. Lily had stayed quiet as she observed the moment of House bonding. From the muttering she’d heard on the Hogwarts Express she would have thought Slytherin would be a cold welcome. But it was surprisingly accepting. Muffie and Faustina had taken a shining to her at the Welcome Feast and continued to talk with her until their yawns interrupted every other word.

It was nice to make friends. At home she was the strange ginger that made odd things happen. Her sister had started to ignore her ever since she started to spend more time with Severus. But Severus was the one that smiled when she made flowers bloom out of season and had held her hand during the thunderstorm that left them stranded in the park that one summer day. Muffie and Faustina gave her hope of acceptance, but they could never replace her best friend. He was there always when she needed to get away, to feel like in the future she would be where she belonged. 

Waking up warm and cozy in her new home, she felt like she belonged. She stifled her giggle as Hecate let out a great big snore. A few groans trumpeted from the beds around her and a pillow was thrown at Hecate’s face. “Huh, what?”

“Wake up, your witchiness,” Muffie said, her blonde hair flawless despite just waking. Lily frowned enviously as she grabbed for her brush. Faustina threw her last remaining pillow at Muffie, effectively mussing her hair. This time Lily let her laugh ring across the room. Faustina beamed as the rest grumbled about the morning disturbing their beauty sleep. 

~~~

James had raced across the castle to get to the Great Hall as soon as he had pulled on his trainers. Remus and Sirius attempted to keep up but eventually they gave up and took their time like the rest of the Gryffindors. The Lions weren’t big believers in early mornings it seemed. Not that it helped that a lot of them had stayed up late with the Welcome Back Bash the upperclassmen had told them was tradition. It was no surprise that the underclassmen were sluggish the following morning. Sirius had almost suggested skipping breakfast to get more sleep, but then his growling stomach had been an effective negative to that idea.

So it really was no surprise when James got to the Great Hall that half the school was no longer there. He first looked at the Ravenclaw table but noticed that only a small group of sixth years had dained to stay. With a disappointed frown he turned his gaze away and just so happened to see the ginger girl from the train at the Slytherin table. She was also frowning distractedly, occasionally looking at the blue trimmed table between chatting with one blonde girl on her left and a brunette on her left. James let a sneer alight on his face as they made eye contact. Lily quickly countered with a glare worthy of a Snake. Her two cronies seemed to notice because they too threw dirty looks his way before trying to distract her.

He continued to glare at the Slytherin table until Remus and Sirius joined him. Along with them came the rest of the scarlet bunch and the Great Hall seemed much more lively. With the exception of Ravenclaw and half of Slytherin the Hall seemed to come alive with the Gryffindors’ loudness and the nearly full Hufflepuff table brimming with energy.

The boys chatted about the night before cheerfully until their Prefects handed out their schedules. James scanned the paper quickly before stopping at the first class with Ravenclaw. Charms, right after having Transfiguration with the Hufflepuffs first thing after breakfast. James grinned briefly before realizing his friends were quietly making fun of him. He spent the rest of breakfast eating his food, trying to hide his excitement.

~~~

Lily had delighted at seeing her first class being with Ravenclaw. She hadn’t seen Severus all morning and she had wanted to chat with him to see how his new House was treating him. She was sure he’d be pleased to know she was enjoying being a part of his mother’s own House. She was pleasantly surprised to see how supportive her new friends had been when she had told them of the Potter boy. How he was obnoxious and so full of himself. She left out the part of how he’d forced his way into revealing her best friend to be his soulmate.  
That still rubbed her the wrong way. How he’d seemed to just thrust himself into Severus’ life without permission. She knew her friend well, and knew that he hated to feel out of control of a situation. There had been enough in his life he couldn’t control. She knew it bothered him how his family was visibly dysfunctional and poor. How they sometimes forgot about him and didn’t even look for him when it got late out. Bless his mother, she tried, but even Lily could see how frail and harried Mrs. Snape looked. Sometimes there would be dark circles under her eyes, other times, when Lily got a peak of her through the window in the mornings, she had bruises decorating her skin. 

Those days Severus would be more quiet, and Lily would know that he needed to be far away from others, somewhere calm and untouched. That’s how they had found the clearing along the stream about a kilometer from their neighborhood. Far enough in the wood to be away from other people but close enough that they did not fear getting lost. It had become their place; where Lily filled the tall grasses with buttercup blossoms and Severus would smile crookedly at the fireflies that visited them there. 

Lily treasured that smile. Knew it was a treat to be able to see it on Severus’ usually gloomy face. Yes, she could admit he could be rather dour. But he’d started to smile more the closer they’d gotten to Hogwarts. All until James Potter showed up. With his stupid smirk and his thoughtless actions. Ever since him Severus had withdrawn, his smiles disappeared and the light that Lily had started to see had dimmed. He was in a way scared. He was being quiet like he got when the bruises made appearances, but Lily hadn’t had the time to take him aside to talk. And they didn’t have their own hiding place here to stay and just be.

That’s why she had been so disappointed to have apparently missed him at breakfast. When her and the other Slytherin had gotten to the Great Hall most of the Ravenclaw had been leaving. She’d seen a few of the first years she remembered being sorted along with Severus but not Severus himself. She hadn’t even been able to ask because Hecate had distracted her by tripping into her on the way into the room and by the time they had recovered those first years were long gone. 

Aw, well, she would see him soon enough. And perhaps even they could be partnered together on some project for Herbology!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Had fun naming my OC Slytherin and Ravenclaw characters. It was a fight to make it HP-world-esque but not totally out there. I think I balanced it pretty well. Lily and Snape, and James and Snape are both really important relationships in this story. But I also wanted to work on their relationships not being so dependent on each other. Best friends, but also not their only friends. With James, he's obviously had the Marauders. I want to explore Lily and Severus gaining friends in their own Houses, building relationships that make them not feel so alone. We'll see how that goes, especially for Lily.


	5. Part Five

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Edited from original on 5/18/16. Now with better language and description.

Severus felt like he was floating on a cloud. He hadn’t felt this rested in... well, ever. He was half aware he was in the twilight between dreaming and waking, but he didn’t feel the need to do anything but let his body hold onto the last few minutes of rest. Faintly he could hear murmurs, soft like they were trying hard not to be heard but familiar enough to catch his attention.

He came to hearing two voices raised in the background arguing while others were trying to hush them. “L-Lily?” he called out before he was completely awake. He heard hurried footsteps and a rustling of fabric and saw green eyes staring at him in concern as he fluttered his eyes open. 

“I’m here. I’m here,” she said softly, grasping his hand and squeezing in reassurance. Movement on the opposite side of his hospital bed alerted him to the other occupants. He saw his Housemates smiling in relief as he turned his head to them. “So glad you’re awake and looking much better, mate,” Dansforth said with a cheeky grin. Mithian whacked him over the head and gave Severus a benign smile. “How are you feeling, ducky?” Patina piped up, her hands twitching as if she didn’t know what to do with them. 

“Much better,” Severus whispered out. His voice was rough from sleep and getting sick earlier. 

“Is there anything we can get for you?” came a much less expected voice from next to Lily. 

Severus turned his head once more, this time hazel meeting his. Anxiety painted them a shade darker and the earnest look on his face sent an unexpected pang through Severus’ heart. The discomfiting feeling caused Severus to frown and squeeze Lily’s hand a little too hard.

Lily glared at the Gryffindor. “You should go, Potter. Severus doesn’t like crowds,” she said knowingly. James returned the glare and planted his feet firmly. “I’m not going anywhere. I have as much right as anyone to be here.” 

“You only have that right if Severus wants you here,” Lily snapped back, rounding the bed to put herself between them. Severus, meanwhile, was looking anywhere but at the scene about to erupt. He was tired. His throat hurt and his back felt stiff from laying in the hospital bed for the last few hours. His housemates were mostly watching the argument but Patina was smiling encouragingly at him, replacing Lily’s hand with her own and giving him a reassuring squeeze.

“The two of you have made more than enough noise,” Madame Pomfrey’s voice finally interrupted the combatant first years. “Severus needs rest, and you’re troubling him. I’ll let his housemates stay, but you both need to go,” she said as she approached the bed, steaming potion in hand. 

“Is that going to make Severus better, Madame Pomfrey?” Patina asked, interrupting the protests from Lily and James. “Severus is going to need more time to bring his nutricion back to normal, but this will help with the aches and pains he’s experiencing right now. He’ll get his second dose of nutrition potion at dinner time. For now he should be alright to have visitors telling him about the classes he missed.”

“Yes, of course, Madame Pomfrey,” Mithian said diplomatically. “I’ll read you my notes from Herbology.” “And I can read you my notes from Charms!” Patina piped in as she fumbled for her notes. “You missed quite a show from Professor Flitwick. He had this Phoenix he conjured out of smoke flying around the classroom, almost took off D’s head,” Angelo was saying cheerily as the girls organized their notes. 

Severus smiled as Dansforth added to the story. How strange to only have known them for a day and already these people care for him, he was almost overwhelmed but schooled his facial expressions. His hand flexed instinctively and he dimly registered it felt empty.

~~~

Out in the hallway James and Lily glared at each other crossly and stubbornly waited by the door. They could hear soft laughter filtering through to the hallway and James looked hungrily at the door. “At the very least I’m glad his housemates seem nice,” Lily said absently as she finally dained to sit demurely against the wall opposite the infirmary entrance.

James grunted and decided he’d rather pace. The redhead ignored him and instead checked the time. “Lunch is almost done, you better hurry along,” Lily said. James stopped and glared, “Well, what about you? Why should I go if you’re staying?” “Slytherin and Ravenclaw have a free period after lunch, I plan to stay here as long as possible, because he’s MY best friend,” Lily finally snapped back, reminded again why the Gryffindor had angered her earlier. 

James sneered and towered over her, “And he’s my soulmate, so that supercedes you.” “Not by choice, please, if Severus had his way he wouldn’t go near you with a ten foot pole.” Lily hissed finally standing so she could use her height against the boy. 

“You two shouldn’t be loitering in front of the Infirmary. Why aren’t you at lunch?” an authoritative voice stopped James from answering Lily. The two first years looked over to see an older student with braided auburn hair making her way towards them. She had a disapproving look reminiscent of Professor McGonagall. 

“I’m here to see my soulmate.” 

“But he got us thrown out because he’s a dunderhead,” Lily added. James growled and almost went for his wand. 

“Are you... here for Severus?” the girl asked cautiously, giving the bespectacled boy a peculiar look. 

“Yes,” the two said simultaneously, then resumed glaring at each other.

“He’s very sick, it was smart of Madame Pomfrey to restrict you, he needs his rest. Go on back to your housemates, and just wait to come back after dinner,” she said, giving them a stern look when they made to argue. Reluctantly they both left, muttering as the girl went into the Infirmary herself.

~~~

When Gretchen came to Severus’ bedside, located next to the wide windows overlooking the lake, she smiled at the scene before her. Mithian was pointing at sketches of plants explaining in detail what Professor Sprout had said about each one, meanwhile the other three Ravenclaws were combining their notes and having Dansforth copy down a mastersheet for Severus to study later on. Severus was listening raptly, a small smile, a crooked little thing, lighting up his drawn countenance. 

“Hello, ducklings, is our patient recovering peacefully?” Gretchen asked lightly. The three notetakers looked up and smiled, while Mithian set her notes down on Severus’ lap.

“Gretchen,” Severus acknowledged, his small smile growing even more crooked. Gretchen’s smile gentled and she perched lightly on the cot. “You four should get some lunch. I’ll keep Severus company,” she said. The four gathered their things obediently. Dansforth promised to have the copied notes finished by dinner time and Mithian left him her Herbology sketches to examine. 

Gretchen waited until the doors to the Infirmary closed to turn to Severus. He looked tired and pale, but much recovered from how he got there. His eyes were already starting to droop and she suspected it had to do with the empty goblet sitting next to him. 

“I met two interesting characters in the hallway,” she said slowly, trying to gage his reaction. It was very slight, he was very good at hiding his emotions, but she saw his cheek twitch in what could have been the beginning of a grin or a grimace. He stayed unmoved and silent otherwise.

“They didn’t seem to like each other. And the boy said something about a soulmate...”

This time Severus couldn’t cover up his grimace or the small noise of disdain. “And seeing as you’re the only student here. I’m supposing that he meant you.”

Severus kept his eyes away from her face and fidgeted with the material of his blanket. 

“Is there a reason you don’t seem quite thrilled to have him about?” Gretchen asked gently as she took the abandoned seat next to him. They waited in silence for a good minute before Gretchen decided she wouldn’t get much out of him.

“You’re looking better, how are you feeling?” 

“Drained, like there’s nothing left,” Severus finally answered, finally peaking up at her. She noted the dark bags under his eyes and the flush to his cheeks.

“I imagine that’s normal for what’s happened to you. You’re looking a bit pink, I’m just going to check your temperature. Are you feeling hot?”

“A tad, maybe. Are you-are you studying to be a medi-witch?” Severus stuttered as she waved her wand over him and muttered an incantation under her breath. Gretchen frowned at the cursive script that floated above Severus in a glowing red. “Yes, Sev, I mentioned it. Can you not remember?”

Severus blinked owlishly at her and his eyes seemed to grow heavy. “Right that was before... on our way here. How long have I been here?”

“Only a few hours, maybe it’s time for another nap, yes? I think Madame Pomfrey is going to need to brew you some more potions. Just lay back and rest a bit, I’m going to chat with her now,” Gretchen stood and helped the 11 year old ease back, his head growing heavier even as he settled on his pillow. Within a second the hand fidgeting with the cotton material went limp and his face went lax. Gretchen hurried over to Madame Pomfrey’s office reporting on the elevated temperature and the memory lapse.

When she was done reporting the information she left Madame Pomfrey brewing in a frenzy and looked at the boy she had been given responsibility to. Professor Flitwick had a brilliant charm he had created just for the purpose of pairing mentors and mentees that to date had brought about close and complementary relationships. Gretchen’s very own mentor, Ajax, had helped her through some tough, confusing times. They still kept in touch regularly even as Ajax traveled throughout South Asia on some new, obscure research project for the Ministry.

Gretchen wondered if she should ask him for advice, this seemed to be becoming more than she thought to expect. She felt guilt for what had happened, partially her own fault, but also worry. She had the utmost respect and confidence in Madame Pomfrey, tireless and competent as she was, but there was something more to this boy than simple illness. He was malnourished, but he had seemed quite willing to eat. 

Homelife, it seemed, was the biggest problem because it had to have started there. And also that business with the soulmate. Same year as him it looked about, so they must have just met on the train or in the Great Hall. 

Soulmates. Now that was something she could empathize with, she thought morosely. Certainly they would have a long conversation about this, but when he was more willing to share. The boy has some demons, she mused as she fussed with his blanket and moved his arm into a more comfortable position. Those would be the ultimate challenge and the first she would have to face to gain his trust. 

Gretchen sighed audibly as she realized the time and her next class was creeping closer. She looked one final time on the sallow face highlighted with red spots upon his sharp cheeks. A Ravenclaw never backs down from a challenge. This was the first major lesson Ajax had taught her. Severus may be complex, but she had been chosen for his mentor for a reason.


	6. Part Six

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Edited from original on 5/18/16. Now with better language and description.

The first week and a half of the semester were frustrating for Severus. He was stuck in the Hospital Wing, forced to drink his various potions. He apparently had to stay longer because while his initial sickness was affecting his body he also contracted some kind of flu that was being rather stubborn. 

Between all the deficiencies and illness he had visitors somewhat consistently. His housemates, those that he was closest with anyway, had somehow decided which would tutor and share their notes from which class. Mithian was especially talented with her sketches from Herbology. Dansforth had the best handwriting, thus recopied everyone’s notes for him. Angelo could actually make History of Magic sound remotely interesting. And Patina was very patient in correcting his technique for Transfiguration. They barely had to help him with Defense Against the Dark Arts, though he did give Angelo some pointers on his dueling stance. 

And faithfully there every day was Lily. She came in the morning, bringing her breakfast. She came during free period to regale the newest misadventure Hecate, the clumsiest Slytherin in history, had that day. She came at dinner and read from the Charms textbook, her decidedly best and most interesting class, easily demonstrating what Professor Flitwick had done in class. 

Then there was James. Gryffindor free period was different from the Ravenclaw or Slytherin free period, so he was always the sole companion Severus had at that time. At first Severus would fake sleep, but James would just sit there and yammer on while holding his hand. After the first few times Severus had given up and would simply ignore him or try to insult him enough to make him leave. None of it worked. Besides that, James would come visit any time he had a free moment, even it was just a minute between classes. 

And at night without fail, James would sneak past curfew and tell Severus good night. Sometimes Severus was already asleep, other times James’ footsteps would wake him, though they shouldn’t have been loud enough to. Strangely neither Madame Pomfrey or any prefect on duty seemed to catch him to or from it would seem. 

Severus had mixed feelings whenever James showed his face. The initial emotion would be dread, the annoyance would always overwhelm that, and underneath it all there was a sort of energy that Severus felt every time James was in the room with him. Like his nerves were burning. 

He asked Gretchen about it, she also visited him throughout the week. She said that feeling of dread and a hypersensitization were signs of anxiety. And if James bothers him too much to tell Madame Pomfrey because stress is harmful to the healing process. 

But Severus never did, he didn’t like the idea of having other people deal with his problems. He could take care of it himself. As soon as he had more energy to put up with Potter he’d talk him down from bothering him so much. 

Finally on Wednesday night Madame Pomfrey announced that he’d be well enough in the morning to move back to his dormitory. “And classes?” Severus asked as his housemates exclaimed in excitement. 

“Ah,” Madame Pomfrey regarded him fondly, “You really are a Ravenclaw! I would recommend starting this following Monday, at most go to the Professors and ask them to look over your make up work before starting with fresh lessons. This is the usual plan I have with my discharged patients. It allows them time to adjust and know their limits before diving right in. I think all your professors would agree, I’ve kept them all well informed of your progress.”

Severus readily agreed, if only because he was tired and did not think Madame Pomfrey would budge. The week and half had really made them come to know each other fairly well. They were both stubborn, but Poppy had more experience at dealing with difficult patients, so she typically won. 

But Severus didn’t begrudge her, she was rather a mothering soul and it was comforting to have the positive parental attention while he felt vulnerable. Even having Lily there every day didn’t make it easier to acknowledge that his body had rebelled and he had a long way to go to take back control.

Poppy had a long parchment of instructions post-discharge for him to follow, which he was sure Gretchen would reenforce. Mostly about limitations and diet. Also a strict time frame for coming back for his potions. He would have to come back weekly for nourishment potions, and every month on the first Tuesday he would have to get his unpleasant iron supplement potion. The rust colored potion was by far the worst of the potions he had to take.

“We’ll see you at breakfast, Severus, it’s almost curfew,” Mithian said, she had inexplicably become the leader of the group. She definitely kept the boys from getting out of hand, and Patina seemed to look up to her. Severus found it almost funny how he had ended up in a group like this. Him and Lily had always been naturally alike in humor and insight. But with these other Ravenclaw they were all very unique and Severus, the introvert he is, could never had thought himself so compatible with such outgoing individuals.

Not for the last time Severus was glad he was in the Ravenclaw House. Patina was kind and motherly, Mithian was straightforward and commanding, Angelo was very outspoken and cheerful, while Dansforth was probably even more reserved and quiet than Severus, though a troublemaker at heart. 

Severus had discussed it at length with Lily. She had encouraged it, thought it would help Severus to have a variety of friends. In turn Lily had told him of her friend group in Slytherin. She found herself in a group with two pureblood girls who had the knack for leading the rest of the first year girls. They were savvy in all the politics of the Magical World. Lily had admitted to being a little intimidated. 

“I don’t think anyone knows I’m Muggleborn at this point, but it’s getting harder to really actively talk about things I have no idea about. I mean I don’t even know who the Minister of Magic is or the rules of Quidditch or what in the world Butterbeer is. Sev, do you think I’ll lose all my new friends when they find out?”

She had looked at him with so much fear in her eyes that Severus could barely recognize her from the girl that had yelled at her own sister to defend him. Had sworn she would protect him from his father when she could control her magic. Had stayed by his side through every bad thing since they’d known each other.

“Lily, you are the greatest person I know. Muggleborn or not, you’re destined to be one of the greatest witches of our age. I’m proud to be your friend. If your Housemates don’t understand that then they aren’t as clever as they claim to be.” They’d hugged after that, shortly interrupted by the entrance of James who had taken one look at the scene and looked like he was about to set something on fire.

Severus was drifting to sleep when James came that final night at the Hospital Wing. He was quieter than normal, but Severus still sensed him. He stopped and stared for a long time, didn’t sit or reach out for his hand this time. Instead just as Severus was on the cusp of sleep a small object was tucked into the palm of his hand. He reflexively clenched that hand and fell promptly to sleep.

The next morning he woke to the sounds of Poppy softly calling his name. Morning light made him open his eyes slowly and when he opened them fully he saw his clothes laid out for him in the chair next to him. “Time to return to reality, my dear,” Poppy said, then left to give him privacy to change. 

As Severus slowly moved to stand the sound of metal hitting the floor alerted him and he looked down. On the floor before him was a necklace with a long golden chain and a round medallion. The raven studied it and the crossed arrows engraved on the medallion. Identical to his mark; their mark. He finally sighed and set it aside as he continued to dress. Finally as he was about to leave he contemplated the necklace before hesitantly putting it on, safely tucking it under his robes, away from prying eyes.

Severus contemplated going straight to the dormitory to reacquaint himself but decided to go to the Great Hall first. He had already had what Madame Pomfrey had deemed a suitable breakfast, but he wanted to talk to Lily before she went to her first class of the day.

When he made his way into the Great Hall it felt as if the entire school was staring at him. He wasn’t sure if it was just his imagination or people were actually talking about him. Out of the corner of his eye he saw the Gryffindors all staring at James and then pointedly at himself. Oh great, they all know, Severus thought with a mental groan, so much for privacy. 

At the Ravenclaw table Angelo was enthusiastically waving him over. He chanced a shy smile in return, but first stopped at the Slytherin table where Lily was seated between a tan girl with wavy black hair and a girl with short blonde hair. 

“Severus, you’re back!” Lily said happily, scooting over to make room for him. His smile became more confident and he let himself be swept up into their conversation. 

All throughout the meal the back of his neck seemed to burn as did the metal of his necklace. At one point most of the Hall seemed to empty, but the feeling of being watched persisted. Even as his House all left and most of the Slytherin as well, Lily stayed and chatted until she had to rush off to Defense Against the Dark Arts on the other side of the castle. 

As Lily finally left and Severus was about to leave as well James blocked the way from around the table. A quick glance showed all of Gryffindor were snatching last pieces of toast and running for it. James stood patiently with a smile on his face. To Severus it looked much more like a smirk, pointedly staring at his chest as if he could see the necklace laying there. It made his skin crawl unpleasantly. “I would like to leave now,” Severus said curtly, pushing his rising discomfort down, “And I think you’re about to be late to your first class.”

“I just wanted to see how you are, now that you’re finally out of the Hospital Wing.” 

“Great, tired, I think I’ll go take a nap, excuse me.”

“I...uh, left you something last night. You were already asleep.” 

Severus stared in reply then pointedly looked past him to the door, just 5 meters away. “Did you-” James reached towards his neck and Severus reflexively caught it. 

“Go to class,” he said forcefully before pushing away the arm he caught and shouldered his way to the door. 

Thankfully there was no shadow following him towards the Ravenclaw Tower, but the necklace still burned against his chest.


	7. Part Seven

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Some more exposure to our Gryffindors and Severus interacting.

The rest of the fall semester was much better for Severus. Despite missing two weeks of class time he quickly acclimated with the help of his friends. Slowly things became routine. In the mornings he spent his time in class, partnering with Lily in their shared classes. At lunch, his group of Ravenclaws would eat out in front of the lake until autumn became too harsh and they were more prone to their own high tower with its beautiful view. In the afternoons after classes he studied in the library. At first it had been peaceful, he’d claimed his very own table and for weeks he’d been content in his alone time.

In the matter of two months he’d had to get used to constantly being surrounded with people, abet everyone he spent time with he liked, but sometimes he felt like he needed a breath. His little table in the library was his breath of fresh air.

That is until one stormy Thursday his Potions essay was interrupted with the arrival of three uninvited Gryffindors. Severus took his time finishing his sentence before he looked up. James had his usual excited look on his face while Remus had the grace to look apologetic. Sirius looked like he’d rather be on the surface of the sun. 

“Are you... lost?” the raven haired boy asked, eying the books that James had slammed down opposite him. “Just taking advantage of the horrid weather to get that Potions essay done,” James said cheerfully as he sat down. 

“You don’t mind us joining, do you?” Remus asked, his books still in his arms even as Sirius was dragging over extra chairs. 

“Not like I have a choice, do I?” Severus asked, suddenly feeling much more weary than he did a moment ago. Dealing with Gryffindors, these ones particularly, seemed to take up a lot of the energy Severus had been able to store up since his illness.

Remus gave him an empathetic grin and the next hour was spent in relative silence. Except for the tapping of a quill against the oak tabletop. 

Severus forced himself to keep his gaze on his parchment, over halfway done his final draft of the assignment. Just as he was dotting his last ‘i,’ ready to reread it one last time, Sirius gave the loudest, disgusted groan, throwing his parchment down angrily. 

A glance showed a disgruntled Sirius shuffling his materials around without actually doing anything. Both James and Remus seemed unaffected, possibly used to it, but slowly the undercurrent of grumbling was getting to the Ravenclaw.

“Are you alright, or are you having a fit over a First Year Potions essay?” Severus finally asked, having set his essay aside. Sirius turned red and scowled, looking ready to respond with a hex. Twin glares from James and Remus stopped him short, but he still looked cross.

“I get the practical part of the lesson: you cut the stuff, you add the stuff, you stir the stuff. I just don’t understand how to explain why eye of newt improves the potency of the Clarity Potion. Why do we even need to know this, I’m eleven, and if I wanted the potion I’d just go to an apothecary.” Sirius grumbled, pushing the potions text away from him. 

“The eye of newt has a twofold importance, it stabilizes the reaction of the moontear nectar and the powdered jackle claw, otherwise the cauldron would explode, as well as concentrating the focusing effects of the chopped gingko biloba. There’s a particular enzyme in the aqueous humor of newts that serves as a buffering agent, while the optic nerve is made up with some proteins that react synergistically with the gingko biloba natural oils,” Severus explained without preamble. 

“Oh,” Sirius simply said, “Well, the way you said that makes sense now... I mean, it sounds right anyways.” “Yes, and don’t forget to explain the importance of time sensitivity. Overexposure to heat causes the proteins to become unstable and waiting longer than 14 minutes after adding the chestnut oil can cause the potion to lose its effect.” Severus continued, pointedly handing the Gryffindor his discarded quill and gesturing to his scrap of parchment.

“You’re bloody brilliant, Sev,” James said in awe, pausing in his draft to beam at his soulmate. Remus was nodding in agreement, “I heard you tutor your Slytherin friend in Potions, but I didn’t realize how advanced you are. I don’t think Professor Slughorn expects that level of detail until at least sixth year. Do you think you could look over my essay and see that I grasped the material correctly.” Severus flushed a little at the praise from the brunette, but felt distinctly uncomfortable with it. That overwhelmed feeling Gretchen always explained as anxiety ratched up again.

“Hey, hey, hey. He was helping me first, Remmy. How about the greenwort roots? Why do you have to grate them rather than chop them up?” Sirius asked, leaning forward across the table to keep the raven’s attention. 

Severus took in the excitable bunch and tiredly glanced at the clock hanging in the farther corner. “It’s almost curfew, I don’t think I’m going to be able to explain everything without us being caught out too late.”

“How about tomorrow?” Sirius asked doggedly. Severus frowned. “I’m reviewing Charms with Lily tomorrow before our first practical.” 

“The essay is due next Thursday, do you have time before then?” 

“Perhaps..., I don’t know, I have a lot of work still to make up and I have to sleep at some point....”

“You know, you should charge Sirius for tutoring,” James interrupted thoughtfully. “Set the time and then it would be up to you how long you can use to help him. Remmy’s been reviewing our work for us, but the science behind Potions is a bit of a mystery to us all.” Remus nodded mournfully and grimaced at his half finished paper. James’ seemed to be mostly done, though his handwriting was sloppy.

“I’ll pay you 2 galleons for every hour you tutor me, and if I get a E on this essay, I’ll increase it to 3 for the next tutoring sessions,” Sirius bargained enthusiastically. Madame Pince was eying his glee suspiciously from her perch.

“You want more tutoring after the essay?” Severus asked dumbfounded. In the back of his mind he could see his alone-time shrinking. “Well, if I do well on Potions, maybe I’ll decide to become something like be a Healer one day or become a Master Potion Maker, who knows? You seem brilliant enough, maybe some of that will rub off on me through the tutoring,” Sirius said flippantly, making a carefree gesture as he tilted back his chair haphazardly. 

Severus snorted without a thought and Remus and James snickered behind their hands at Sirius’ words. If there was anyone in their Year that lacked the discipline for painstaking brewing it was “ants-in-his-pants” Black. 

“Right and then you could probably start charging Sirius even more, once he’s hooked. Make bank, maybe buy some new clothes and whatnot, maybe-” 

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Severus cut James off, voice suddenly gone chilly. His relaxed posture became rigid and his face was poised in a scowl. Anxiety forgotten, adrenaline from one half fury and one half embarrassment made his hand twitch for his wand.

“Uh, you know, nothing, just, er... I don’t know just thinking up things to use the money with. I mean new clothes, who, uh, doesn’t need new clothes. Growing young boy and all that...,” James stuttered nervously, sensing the dangerous territory he wandered into. Remus was giving him a look of pain, while Sirius looked uncomfortable. Snape’s shabby, oversized robes weren’t exactly subtle. Though even Black had the grace not to bring attention to it.

“You know what, I don’t have time for this and I’m not some charity case you need to ask your friends to help with,” Severus grit, progressively getting louder as he gathered his things and viciously shoved them into his secondhand bag. 

“Wait, no, I-” James tried to backtrack, making as if to follow Severus out the library. “Stay,” Severus spat the one word, pointing authoritively at James as if he was a misbehaving pet, and turned on his heel. The scrape of the chair and the wooden floor sounded behind him, but Severus strode out of the library too fast for it to make a difference. 

“Snape, wait,” came the unexpected voice of Sirius. The raven stopped out of pure surprise, having figured Potter would be the one to follow after him. “Remus is yelling at James right now. He was being stupid. I mean even I realized how much of a numbskull he was being,” he said both sounding joke and apologetic. Severus turned slowly to see the Gryffindor looking sheepish where he stood. His lips were turned in a self conscious frown and his eyebrows scrunched in sympathy. It was slightly annoying, but somehow on Black it wasn’t as offensive as James had been. Purebloods, so clueless....

“James, is a little stupid when he has good intentions. Foot-in-mouth syndrome, I think it’s called. But despite all that, I really do need a tutor. My first essay was total crap and I think I just barely got above a T. You’d really be doing me a favor. And in all honesty, knowing me you’ll probably want the galleons or I don’t think the tutoring sessions will get past half hour....” Sirius smiled shyly, a strange look on his face, and waited for his response.

Severus sighed in defeat, feeling some of Lily’s influence on patience affecting him, “Fine... But I’m setting the deal. I want 5 galleons for every two hour session we have. But only if you get that E on this essay. The first one I’ll tutor you for free, I’m not taking your money if you still do poorly. We’ll work on it Tuesday after classes are over. Meet at my table in the library. Come prepared or I walk out. Got it?”

“Yes, sir!” Sirius said cheerfully, saluting him only half sarcastically. 

Severus narrowed his eyes and pointed threateningly at him, “I don’t like wasting my time, so don’t be late. 4PM, library, Tuesday.”

“Ay, ay!”

“And have Lupin give me his essay, it’s not his fault the clotpole pissed me off before I could read it over,” Severus continued, now only half-annoyed as he let off some of the steam by ordering Sirius around. It was somewhat therapeutic calling the shots and having the energetic Gryffindor comply. 

“Thanks, Snape,” Sirius said genuinely and left right away, probably to make sure the irate Ravenclaw didn’t have time to change his mind.

Said Ravenclaw simply shook his head in wonder at what just transpired and continued back to his dorm, already getting annoyed again once his thoughts circled back to stupid Purebloods and their careless flaunting of money and judgement. He scuffed his worn boots at the nearest banister and rolled his eyes. The ugly boots were still useful no matter how old they looked. And his robes weren’t that worn out, besides in a year or two he’d outgrow anything new and he’d just have to buy a new set. 

Though, in all truth the weather was getting nippy and a new winter overobe for the winter would be a blessing, especially with how much Patina liked to coax him into lakeside walks every now and then “for some sunshine and air.”

~~~

The essays ended up being a success. Severus and Remus ended up getting O’s. Thanks to Severus, Remus praised while Severus shook his head, his face flushed in embarrassment. 

Sirius ended up getting the E he wanted and the tutoring sessions became a weekly appointment, once and sometimes twice a week for 2 hour sessions. Sometimes Remus would stop by to drop off his essay for Severus to review later, and often times James would come towards the end and try to make up with Severus in his own way. That mostly had to do with bribes of sweets that Severus never accepted. The only time he had, was an apricot tart fresh from the kitchens’ oven. James mentally noted it for future use as the, still thin, raven scarfed it down.

“Are you and that Evans’ girl a thing?” Sirius asked frankly as they gathered their things. Severus looked up sharply and gave his “student” and maybe-sort of-kind of friend an exasperated look. “Did James put you up to this? Is he lurking in the corridor with some honey biscuit or other?” 

“Nah, I’m just curious. You two are practically always together, I mean except for when you tutor me or study on your own or I guess in your dorm? I’m just wondering if you, I don’t know, have a crush on her?” Severus examined the Gryffindor’s face closely but could only see sincerity in the questioning gaze. He sighed and swung his bag onto his shoulder, it was starting to sag a little under the weight of all the books he’d decided to check out. 

Mentally he counted how many galleons he had saved up from tutoring and how much a new, more durable bag would cost. It was almost Christmas, maybe there would be deals and he’d have enough left over from presents for his friends. Nothing would be more embarrassing than receiving gifts for the holidays and having given none in return. He suspected that not only Lily would get him something this year, but also his Ravenclaw group. Some part of him thought of James, sure to get him something inappropriately expensive or rare, but what in the world do you gift a rich Pureblood that they couldn’t get themselves?

“She’s my best friend. That’s why we’re always together. I care about her and I like to be with her. Crush? I don’t really... I mean, Lily is just Lily, it’s as simple as that to me,” Severus tried to explain, as he set aside the worry of presents for another day. He wasn’t really that good at expressing his emotions. Mostly he was annoyed, angry, content or embarrassed. Anything else he usually would just walk away rather than deal with it around other people. 

But Lily, Lily was like a sunny day. When she’s there he’s happier and just plain content to be with her. She made him feel accepted, but also like he was seen. His new friends all accepted him, but Lily was the first person that made him feel like someone saw him. She understood. And he knew he loved her, but it didn’t feel right to say it was a crush. Crushes were dumb and faded with time. 

Severus knew Lily would always be important to him and no one would be able to replace her. But it also didn’t feel right to say he was in love, that Severus didn’t think he could fathom. He was too young, too inexperienced with the world. No, he loved her, but was not in love with her. It didn’t mean she was any less important to him. But somehow he doubted anyone would really understand, except, maybe Lily. 

Definitely not Black and by extension Potter, because he had no doubt if he said anything like that it would get to his soulmate within the hour. And that was just asking for trouble, if the past semester was anything to go by....

“Hmm,” was Sirius’ answer. Upon inspection he looked thoughtful, usually a dangerous look on him as Severus had discovered in their short acquaintance. “James hates Lily, he thinks she’s the reason you give him the cold shoulder. Like you wished she was your soulmate instead.”

“The cold shoulder, really?” Severus huffed, ignoring the comment about soulmates, and shook his head. “Tell James to leave Lily alone. This whole thing is so stupid. We’ve been friends for a long time, just because he is my soulmate doesn’t mean I’m going to forget her and suddenly be with him all the time. Seriously, he needs to leave her and the Slytherin alone. They won’t stay quiet for long...” 

The epic rivalry between Gryffindor and Slytherin was still going strong amongst the First Years even though the Headmaster had given several dinner time speeches about school unity and leaving old grudges in the past. If it wasn’t James turning Lily and Muffy’s hair blue, it was Lily charming James’ seat to run away from him in class, forcing him to fall on his bum. 

One day James had laid a trap for the whole Slytherin first years that resulted in canary feathers sticking to their clothes for the entire day regardless of changing outfits. Severus had refused to look at the Gryffindor for an entire week after that stunt had Lily coughing up feathers. It would have been longer than a week if James hadn’t accidentally lit his sleeve on fire in the process of trying to get his soulmate’s attention. Severus thought it was in the best interest of everyone’s safety after that incident that he at least gave him a second of attention before going back to ignoring him.

The Slytherin had been quiet since that particular stunt, though any time James and his friends passed by Lily’s group their conversation would fall silent and the feeling of eyes following them would last for the remainder of the journey. Remus had told Severus about the eeriness of it all the last time they reviewed essays together. Fortunately Severus had no idea what was going on, Lily wanted him to be free of any suspicion and had left him out of the planning details. So he had no guilt in telling Remus, the one Gryffindor with any sense, that he wasn’t sure what they were up to. 

“You mean… Siriusly?” Sirius laughed. Severus rolled his eyes at the overused pun and wondered how he ended up with this wanker as a maybe-sort of-kind of friend. Where was Remus when you needed him to whack Black over the head? “Anyway, I’m sure it’s going to be some lame response, we’re not worried.”

“Well, they’re not called the cunning house for nothing,” Severus muttered in response, exasperated that they were just brushing it off. Blood would spill and even though he had also talked to Lily, trying to make her see reason, he recognized that stubborn glint in her eye and knew it was futile. Lily was a force. She didn’t let things stand in her way. 

The upperclassmen in Slytherin seemed to notice and nod approvingly at her retaliation. Severus thought it was good her House was giving her recognition. But just as Lily had brought it up, he also had a tiny fear for her Muggleborn status. When that finally came up, and it was bound to some way or another, who knows what could result. 

“Anyway, see you in Charms tomorrow,” Sirius announced as they came to the crossroads. Severus nodded and muttered a reply before heading to his dormitory. His thoughts turned back to presents on his way back to his tower.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Itching to get to writing more Lily. I have plans for her >:) Next chapter will be about their first Christmas time in Hogwarts, finally more Lily and maybe some more on James' point of view because I feel like I want to flesh out his character some more as well.
> 
> Edited from original on 5/18/16. Now with better language and description.


	8. Part Eight

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Edited from original on 5/18/16. Now with better language and description.

Yuletide holidays had the students all excited for a break to see their families. Lily watched as she settled in her customary chair in her dormitory’s common room as her friends chatted about where their families were vacationing. France seemed to be quite popular, as well as Switzerland and Spain. The upperclassmen even seemed to be indulging the First Years as they listened to Muffy tell them the best place to find a macaroon in the magical neighborhoods of Paris. 

Lily smiled softly at the scene before her, absently stroking the silky fabric of the emerald green scarf that Severus had shyly gifted her earlier in the day. It matched her eyes and her house colors and she loved it most of all because it’s the first gift that he had ever given her. From what she heard from Mithian, the Ravenclaw ringleader that she particularly got along with, Severus had been asking Patina’s help for weeks with the gift selection. It was cute, Mithian said, though it would have been cuter if it wasn’t so plain to everyone but Severus himself that Patina had a crush on him. And how depressing was it to help your crush buy a Christmas present for his pretty best friend. 

Lily had laughed, said they were the best of friends, that’s it, and Patina shouldn’t feel bad. Though a part of her, maybe the Slytherin in her she never realized until she started spending time with Muffy and Faustina, was a little pleased. She didn’t like to dwell on it though. Those thoughts lead down a dark road.

“Is that from your Ravenclaw boyfriend, Evans?” a Third Year girl asked as conversation started to fade. Her face was set in a superior scowl, but her eyes glittered with envy. “Why, jealous no boy has ever even given you a tissue, Darlene?” Muffy cut in her friend’s defense. The blonde had a quick wit, but also a short fuse when it came to people picking on any of her mates. She was particularly adverse to Potter, who had not only pranked Lily, but had gotten her favorite shoes ruined in the process. Unforgivable. 

Lily sent her a half-grateful, half-scolding glance. Lily Evans could stand up for herself. She’d taken on Gryffindor boys, made Potter run snot-nosed to the Infirmary (quite literally she invented her own hex that caused excessive tears, snot and drool; they’d all had a great laugh. The Fifth Years had even given her a nod at dinner).

“It’s lovely, isn’t it? I just appreciate that he put so much thought into it. It’s nice feeling like I matter to someone so much,” Lily said innocently, knowing full well how Darlene’s ex-boyfriend had repeatedly forgotten their anniversary, her birthday and her all summer while he’d been away in Greece. Rumors and gossip ran rampant through Slytherin, even First Years knew more than most of the adults out in the Wizarding World about the Pureblood family drama going on.

Darlene promptly turned bright red and strode out of the room to her bed chambers. Faustina had the grace to muffle her snickers, while Hecate’s guffaws could have woken the dead. 

“Lily, where are you vacationing this break?” Hecate finally asked as her laughter became controlled, her chocolate brown eyes guileless. Muffy and Faustina turned their attention completely and looked at her expectantly. “Oh, I will be spending it at home with my parents and sister. We usually go skiing right after Christmas in Castleford, though. It’s rather fun, though Petunia is forever complaining of the cold and wet,” Lily laughed at the thought of her sister. How must Tuney have changed since she’d last seen her? Would she be happy to see her after her being gone for months? Surely she wouldn’t still be holding a grudge now that she’d be absent for so long. 

“Castleford? Hmm, do you have a home there?” Faustina asked curiously. Lily frowned, “Uh, no we visit and usually stay at one of the resort cottages, they’re quite nice.” 

“Hmm, I didn’t know you had a sister, Lily, is she much younger than you?” Hecate asked, looking vaguely interested. “Oh, no, she’s actually older, by nearly three years, though you’d think she was an adult the way she goes about,” Lily answered. 

“Oh, well, what House is she in? Is she a redhead like you? You must introduce us,” Hecate exclaimed looking much too excited. Muffie and Faustina exchanged looks but didn’t say a word. Lily’s brain stopped for a second and strove to rewind the conversation, trying to see how they’d gotten that far. 

“Ah, she, um, she doesn’t go to Hogwarts...” Lily said slowly, trying to think how to steer the conversation back to safer waters. Hecate didn’t seem to notice because she continued her overly excitable way of talking. She was drawing attention to the four of them and Lily was really starting to hate the oblivious brunette in front of her. “Oh, is she home schooled then, or, *gasp* is she” and here her voice lowered though it still traveled. “a squib???” Hecate looked concerned at her own conclusion, but the two other girls were shaking their heads in denial. 

“Oh, please, you’ve seen Lily in action against that wretched Gryffindork, I highly doubt her elder sister could possibly be a Squib when her family is clearly talented,” Muffie scoffed, giving Hecate a disdainful look. 

“Your sister goes to Beauxbatons perhaps? Or homeschooling with your parents surely?” Faustina supplied trying to help. Hecate looked embarrassed and apologetically, as if suggesting a Squib in the family was shameful. As the three girls looked at her for her answer, and indeed other curious pairs of eyes, Slytherins were shameless gossips afterall, seared into her skull, she had a moment of blankness where she realized she had two paths to choose. Either lie and keep the lie going for at the very least the next seven years, or incriminate herself as a Muggleborn in the supposed House for Purebloods. 

In that moment, her hand brushed against the smooth material of the scarf and she thought of Severus, and of what he had said. How foolish a House would be to reject her for her linage when she was so clearly talented. Looking at the girls she wondered briefly if she would lose them, but when she had Severus why should she worry about these practical strangers who didn’t even know she had an older sister. These last few months what had she shared of herself if they were to toss her aside so easily.

“Actually, Petunia is neither at Beauxbaton nor homeschooled,” Lily said evenly as her face was schooled into a smooth mask, she felt herself channel Severus in the moment, wanted to borrow his cool control to overcome her own fiery temper. “Then Durmstrang?” Faustina cut in somewhat anxiously, she could feel the tension, and the brunette was really just a sweet cupcake underneath her sarcastic comments and eye rolls. 

“No...” Lily frowned at being interrupted. “Actually she is not a witch at all. Well, not like you or me anyway,” And there she may have been channeling a little too much of Severus. “Are you saying your sister is neither magical or a Squib?” Muffie asked softly, trying to keep the matter out of other’s ears. 

“OH, is your sister a Muggle, Lily?” Hecate exclaimed in sudden realization, effectively undoing the quiet that Muffie was attempting. The three girls all glared at the loud First Year. “But wouldn’t that make you a Muggleborn,” Hecate seemed to suddenly realize, and effectively silence the entire room. 

Lily paled as she saw the faces of the upperclassmen around her, and suddenly it wasn’t so quiet as the whispers started. “I...” Lily stood as proudly as she could and glared at Hecate venomously. The girl seemed to realize because she withdrew as if burned as Lily drew towards her and then past to leave the common room. Whispers followed her and she heard Muffie and Faustina say something but she refused to turn, only continue her determined march with her head raised high.

~~~

“I mean you spend time with him, what do you think?” James asked Sirius for what must have been the millionth time. “For the last time we do not talk about shoes or clothes or whatever while he tutors me. At most we’ll make fun of something a Professor or you did stupidly that day,” Sirius answered with a bored tone as he looked through the Quidditch book that Remus had gifted him with. Remus meanwhile was ignoring the moaning and groaning in favor of packing his trunk.

“What about you Remus, he seems to like you,” James said, if a tiny bit bitterly. Remus rolled his eyes and finally sat on his trunk to close it. 

"Honestly all your ideas are overkill and he'll probably be flustered that you did too much. You know he doesn't like the usually stuff you force on him." 

"Hey, that book was a family heirloom." 

"Heirloom, aka, ancient and priceless," Remus emphasized slowly.

"Mum and dad said it was fine. No one was using it," James protested defensively. He inwardly grimaced at the pained look on Severus’ face when he, obviously reluctantly (!), refused the token. To date his soulmate had refused all but the apricot tart and the necklace from James.

The Gryffindor was at least pleased to have seen the locket being worn on more than one occasion. That gave him some hope, because really ever since the incident in the library Severus had gone from distant and uncomfortable to chilly and snubbing. 

He seemed to only act that way with him, which really didn't make much sense. Sirius was just as rich and Pureblood as he, but the two seemed to get along, even teamed up to make fun of James when Severus was in a good mood (all in good fun, Sirius insisted). And that Slytherin girl was just as affectionate as James tried to be. Only she, and occasionally his Ravenclaw gang, could touch him without him flinching. That probably hurt the most, more than the teasing or disinterest, as if James' touch burned. He'd never, James often thought late at night when he contemplated his mysterious soulmate, hurt Severus, no matter what. 

"You're both no help, where are the rest of our Year? Maybe one of the girls could be more helpful than you lumps," James grumbled. Sirius waved an unconcerned hand in dismissal while Remus rolled his eyes from his bunk.

"On second thought, I'm going to get some air." James said, remembering Severus sometimes visited the astronomy tower before curfew if the sky was clear enough. He'd made up his mind, he'd give the gift and damn the consequences. You couldn't refuse a Christmas present, everyone knew it was in bad taste. 

As James made his way across the castle, using shortcuts that he, Sirius and Remus had discovered in their first few weeks there, he got progressively more nervous. What if Severus hated it, the raven wasn't really good at hiding it when he was unhappy or annoyed or disgusted. As much as Severus seems to try to cover up his emotions his expressions were all too clear to him. Every time the Gryffindors gained a foothold against that Slytherin, Severus got that pinched look that was half annoyed, half exasperated, and completely disapproving. 

James was so deep in his own mind worrying he didn't realize when he walked right into one of his least favorite people. The redhead immediately sprang up, wand outstretched from her in defense. James was slower to stand but his wand was clutched in his hand, never pointed away from her. 

"Watch where you're going, Potter," the Slytherin spat like his surname was a curse. James slid easily into an infuriating smirk and casually dusted off his clothes.

"Woops, should have realized you were about, I thought something smelled distinctly like brimstone and fire."

Lily didn't move an inch, keeping her back to the wall and narrowing her eye suspiciously. "Har, har, clown, not amusing. Now what are you doing near the Slytherin dormitories. Shouldn’t you be packing up to leave for tomorrow morning."

"Have you suddenly become a prefect? Because I don't think it's much your business where I'm going. Besides shouldn't you be in your snake pit, yourself?"

Lily stiffened at the insult and turned a furious shade of puce. "I should hex that insolent mouth off your face," she said darkly, almost unconsciously stalking forward. James raised an eyebrow but backed up a step none the less, noting her wild hair and eyes. She looked like she would embrace a fight at the moment, but the thought of finding Severus and giving him his gift was much more tempting. 

"Another time maybe Evans, I have more important things to do. Good bye,” he said and walked the opposite way she seemed to be going. Once he was sure he was a distance away, he took out a ratty piece of parchment and tapped it with his wand, muttering a phrase and watching as ink started to bleed into the parchment, slowly forming a rough outline of the school. Small dots, mostly concentrated in the areas labelled dormitories, moved slowly. A dot labelled Lily Evans was heading away from the dungeons and what was the western wing of the castle, towards Ravenclaw Towers, he guessed.

Another dot, unmoving and solitary, populated the area labelled as the astronomy tower; Severus Snape. James grinned and headed to a statue of a Basilisk sitting next to a boy’s lavatory. He tugged at its protruding fang and watched in satisfaction as the statue moved to make way for a staircase that briefly shimmered with magic before solidifying.

~~~

Severus had sought out a new place for solitude after the first time the Gryffindors had invaded his space in the library. The Astronomy Tower was a perfect spot. On most nights there was only him and the stars. Other nights he would stumble upon a couple or two that tried to have a romantic evening of it. Those times he would silently withdraw, the sight of two people looking so lovingly at each other, forget the stars, gave him an uncomfortable feeling in his gut. It felt a bit like indigestion from the potions he had to get every week from Madame Pomfrey for his iron deficiency. 

Tonight was not one of those night. Thankfully, it seemed most students were taking the evening to stay in the warmth of their dormitories, pack and say goodbye to their friends. Severus shivered and drew his thin robe closer around him. It was a bitterly cold night, winter was coming, but the chance to see the stars clear like at Hogwarts was a treat he was willing to suffer for. Back home there’d be nothing but smoggy skies over the dirty factory town he lived. 

The stars gave him comfort, made him forget. Forget the idea of going home that turned his stomach much more than those sappy couples ever could. Forget that he’d have weeks without seeing his friends, and that Lily would be mostly be away with her family skiing during the holiday. Forget that his mother had been sick enough that he only had gotten the occasional and very short letter since starting at her old school. 

When gazing at the stars and the impossibility of the universe, as Professor Sinistra put it, problems seemed to shrink and become inconsequential.

A chill breeze blew his raven locks into his face, he shook his head to dislodge them. His hair was getting long, he had half a mind to cut it, but the last time he’d mentioned it Patina and Mithian had both protested so entirely he had agreed not to just to placate them. Lily had much of the same opinion when he had brought it up to her. “It suits you,” she said as she twisted a strand into a tiny braid, then tucking it behind his ear. 

Personally he found it annoying. Any time he worked on a potion he had to pull his hair back with a tie just to keep his hair from frizzing and turning oily with the fumes. Mithian had gladly taught him to twist his hair into a top knot to the best effect. He still had to wash his face incessantly to keep his face from blemishing, but Mithian of course had another trick for that. 

Her mother and father owned a potion supplies business, had a greenhouse that housed many rare plants used in complicated potions. Her mother was a potions master and used the business to help her with her experiments. Mithian knew all about concocting new potions, and happily used Severus as her own guinea pig for the current potions she was attempting. 

Charcoal, rose petal water, citrus peels, cucumber essence, Rhodesian clay and crushed gypsy beetle wings were just a few of the ingredients in the distilled potion Mithian forced him to use. 

At first it was unnerving to have her stare at his face across the breakfast table, taking notes and occasionally touching his face, much to his befuddlement and everyone else’s amusement. After the first few weeks, though, he’d gotten used to it, wordlessly accepting the glass jars she would thrust into his hand and obediently using the contents as she ordered. He did appreciate not having to brush out knots as much now that he was using the conditioner she had made him, with express orders to use it every other day in addition to the accompanying hydrating shampoo.

She was a genius, one day she’d surpass even her mother’s achievements. Severus was glad to help her with his feedback, even if her orders sometimes rankled him. He was slowly learning to become patient with his friends, putting up with Mithian’s bossiness, listening to Angelo’s long winded stories, helping Patina with her nervous ticks, and Dansforth..., no, Dansforth was laidback with a quiet wit. Dansforth’s greatest virtue was he knew when to let you be and when to give you his thoughts. They were similar in their quiet nature enough that Angelo would call them twins in all but looks. While Severus was pale and had straight hair, Dansforth had copper skin and voluminous curls. The only thing they shared was their sharp cheekbones and dark eyes.

“Found you!” a playful voice interrupted his thoughts. He looked up from where he sat, huddling for warmth, to see his hazel eyed soulmate grinning down at him. Ah, something else he wanted to forget. 

“Yes, you found me. When I didn’t want to be found.” Severus said dryly as he remained sitting. “How do you always find me?” James winked and sat down from him so that his knees were touching the raven’s. “Because you’re my soulmate,” he answered simply. They sat in silence, Severus staring at the stars, while James’ stared at the boy in front of him. 

“Is there a reason you sought me out?” Severus finally asked, not having the patience with the Gryffindor as he had with others. 

“I came to give you your Christmas gift. I didn’t want to wait in case I didn’t see you on the train,” James said, his voice quieted shyly. Severus turned his eyes back to the Pureblood, taking in the nervous way he fiddled with his hands. 

“I have a gift for you too,” he said, taking a small package out of his robe. He had a feeling he would run into Potter that night. He was always lurking. “Take it,” he said as he thrust it into the boy’s hands, wanting his gift to come first before the probable expensive gift from him.

James fumbled with the plain packaging wrapped inexpertly. Whatever it was was small and irregularly shaped, but solid. Unwrapped it revealed a wooden figurine shaped like a stag. James lightly touched the delicate antlers and flinched when the tiny figurine head moved to look sightlessly at its holder. “Wha...?” James breathed in astonishment. Out of the corner of his eye he saw Severus give him a tiny slip of a smile, a crooked thing that he’d rarely seen and never focused on him.

“I made it myself, well... I had help carving it from Dansforth, but I charmed it to be lifelike,” Severus said, this time his turn to be timid, “I wasn’t sure what to get someone who could buy whatever he wanted. So I asked Gretchen and she said that in some cultures... soulmates make each other gifts... to show they care,” he muttered the last part. 

“You made this for me?” James asked, but really locking on the “show they care.” “Yes,” Severus said, finally looking him in the eye. “I love it,” James responded quietly with a tiny smile of his own, gazing into the dark eyes before him reflecting the starlight with a soft glow.

“Good,” Severus finally looked away, feeling a warmth in his chest expand. James watched the emotions cross his soulmate’s face, then down at the figurine in his hand that had delicately moved to its four legs to stretch its neck upwards to the night’s sky.

“Why a stag?” James asked as the graceful creature made minute movements in the palm of his hand.

“It made me think of you,” Severus said with a shrug, still too embarrassed to look at him. James’ grin widened and his heart started to beat a little faster at the admission. His other hand went to the package hidden in the folds of his winter robes. He hesitated as he looked again at the stag and thought about what Severus had said. Switching to the pocket opposite he brought out the ratty parchment and laid it in Severus’ lap. 

The Ravenclaw swiftly looked down at the piece of ancient paper and gave him a baffled look. “Is this some kind of ancient scroll from your parent’s library?” Severus asked as he touched the parchment, turning it over when he saw it was blank. “No,” James said with trepidation and brought out his wand. “It’s a map. Of Hogwarts I’d been working on with Sirius and Remus.” 

“Not much of a map,” Severus said dubiously as he lifted the paper up. “It’s a secret map so you have to say the magic words.” James said with a funny grin. Severus watched quietly as James said the phrase clearly (“Up to no good? Really?”) and the map started to appear. His mouth opened slightly as he took in the castle with not only its rooms mapped out but small passageways and hidden stairways highlighted. The tiny dots with names on them showing where each occupant was currently. He touched the map curiously where they were at the Astronomy Tower, tracing the area that revealed a secret passage that connected the Tower directly to the dungeon. 

He paused when he looked at the Ravenclaw Tower and saw a dot labelled Lily Evans right outside its doors. He looked up from his inspection and his nose was an inch away from James’ smiling face.

“Do you like it?” he asked eagerly. “It’s brilliant,” Severus whispered, unnerved by the closeness and momentarily forgetting that Lily was clearly waiting for him outside his dormitory. 

“I’m glad. So you’ll accept it then,” James said, just as eagerly. Severus nodded, taking the map and holding it carefully in his hands. They sat in silence for a time, James staring at Severus and the other looking at him in turn, feeling for the first time anything besides annoyance for the boy and not sure what feeling that was.

“I have to go,” Severus broke the silence abruptly and stood, stumbling backwards against the tower wall in his hurry. James watched silently as the other left without another word. A moment later he was back. James smiled hopefully at him. “And thank you. This gift... it was very thoughtful of you,” his voice sounding surprised still. 

“And thank you for your present. I love it and I will cherish it forever!”

Severus nodded once and then turned to go again. Leaving James to think on how much better this had gone than he’d hoped.

~~~

The way into the Ravenclaw dormitory had been a little more difficult than Lily had thought, the knob spouted nonsense about a bat and an orange. Frankly, Lily reckoned it was just messing with her because she was so clearly from Slytherin by her colors, but fortunately where Lily lacked in being able to decipher incomprehensible riddles, she made up with the will to argue herself into or out of almost anything.

The hard part was keeping her composure while she waited for Severus as the Ravenclaws lounging in the common room gazed at her curiously. She had approached Patina when she’d first entered, not recognizing anyone else, who had taken one look at her and sat her down at a chic powder blue couch. The two had sat together there making little chitchat over peppermint tea for an hour before Severus had burst through the doors. He saw the two and hurried over not looking surprised at all to see her. 

Patina had looked at the two and immediately excused herself to go back to packing. “Lily, what’s wrong?” Severus said as he approached, sitting gingerly beside her as he tucked a piece of parchment away in his robes. 

“Severus,” Lily whispered, her voice cracking and finally her composure fell. She leaned into him and tucked herself under his chin, wrapping her arms tightly around his thin waist. “Lily?” Severus gasped, startled by her strength and the gleam of tears in her eyes. He settled one hand on her back and used the other to stroke her crimson locks. 

“Tell me what happened,” he said softly, tightening the hug to show his support.

“They know,” she gasped out into his neck and he felt wetness against his throat. Severus felt his heart sink and knew that this night they wouldn’t be getting much sleep.

~~~

James stumbled into the room a half hour more than he should have, but even that could not wipe the grin off his face. “Did he like the gift?” Remus asked as he glimpsed up from where he was reading in his bed. Sirius peaked his head through his curtains, hair tussled as if he’d been asleep. 

“Yes! He loved it in fact. He even smiled at me!” James said, flopping onto his bed contentedly, cuddling his pillow to his chest. “He liked that gold...thing you got him?” Remus asked dubiously, putting his book down and watching his friend smiling like a fool. He caught Sirius’ eye from across the room and they shared a confused look.

“Oh, not that, I decided not to give him that. He made me this amazing animated stag figurine, so I thought I’d give him something I made too.”

“Like what,” Sirius’ voice sounded suspicious as he sat up, instantly fully awake. James was quiet for a moment and Remus had a sinking feeling in his stomach as it grew.

“I gave him the map,” James finally said, no trace of remorse in his voice, though the smile was gone.

“You gave him WHAT!?” Sirius burst as he lept off his bed.

“Here we go...” Remus thought as he tiredly sunk back onto his bed.


	9. Part Nine

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this took so long to churn out. Just graduated and I should be studying for my licensing exams. Oops. Instead I gift you loyal readers an other chapter. Actually went back and tweeked the previous chapters a bit so I may be updating those up here soon-ish. who knows when. 
> 
> Enjoy.

Lily woke with a start in an unfamiliar place. Wherever she was was filled with books. At first she’d thought she’d fallen asleep in the library, but the sight of falcons soaring past the window woke her up a bit more. As she sat up a royal blue quilt slipped off her and onto the ground. Looking around she realized she was in a common room, but not her own. 

No, this common room had tall windows lining one side, letting in the bright light as the sun rose, and along all the other walls were bookshelves separated by rounded nooks carved into the white stone walls for individual study space. The room was open and airy, decorated with light blues and cool sea green with bronze accents, furniture that was angular with clean lines and delicate details. 

“Awake, Slytherin Princess?” a voice asked cheerily. Lily looked up, irritated by the nickname, but refrained from commenting once she saw who it was; blue eyes dancing in amusement in a pale, freckled face topped with thick brown hair. 

“Angelo,” Lily greeted in response, standing shakily and trying to flatten out the wrinkles in her robe. Lily usually restrained herself when it came to Severus’ friends, mostly because she knew if he trusted them then so should she. Except for Gryffindors. Never Gryffindors.

“Severus is asleep still. Which is pretty weird since he’s usually such an early bird. You two must have had quite the talk last night,” he said, picking up the quilt she’d dropped and throwing it onto a high backed chair with teal cushions.

“I... had a misunderstanding with my housemates. I needed to talk to someone I trusted,” Lily mumbled as she looked out the window. The lake lay out before her, and beyond that, Hogsmeade, where the train would be waiting to take them home in a few hours. Away from the disaster that awaits her next term.

Angelo hummed and joined her in looking beyond. “I don’t know what happened,” Angelo said as he gazed out as if seeing something more than scenery. “But what I do know is Slytherin are tight knit. My older cousin, Frederick, was in Slytherin. He never would let his friends down, if ever there were a time he was needed or he needed them they were a floo call away. 

“Frederick’s mother had fallen ill while he was out of the country on Ministry business, before any of our family could make the visit his best mate had pulled some strings at St Mungo’s and aunty’s Healer was flooed in from Switzerland to look after her. She was cured within a fortnight.” 

Lily switched her gaze from the lake to the boy next to her, wondering where his story was going. “Close knit, lifelong friends, but...” Angelo’s eyes darkened as if a shadow had come over them. Trick of the light. 

“Slytherin despise weakness. If you let them see you at your lowest and don’t rise above, they will never respect you...” Angelo trailed off and the silence that followed was somehow loud with words unsaid. Lily hesitated to ask, and realized it must have been something personal that made him look so melancholy. Even so, his words rang through her head long after he excused himself to breakfast.

“Lily?” Severus’s quiet voice broke her reverie. He was standing before her, hair wet and curling against his nape, eyes bright with worry. Slytherins aren’t the only lifelong friends, Lily thought as Severus sat beside her delicately.

“What do you want to do?” 

“I don’t want to see them. I just want to go home and forget about it over the holidays. But my things are still in my dormitory, I don’t know how I’d be able to avoid my housemates,” Lily said miserably, looking down at the floors in despair.

“Actually,” Severus coughed and took out a yellowed parchment from his robes and put it between them. He muttered something Lily could not catch and the paper came to life with inked lines and blotches. “This map could help us, we could wait until all your dorm mates go to breakfast and sneak in before anyone comes back for their things,” Severus explained hopefully.

Lily touched the spot where a cluster of dots were populating the dungeon dormitories. “Where did you get this,” she said in amazement and excitation. Here was the answer to her problem!

“It was a gift,” he said quietly. She looked up and saw his confused expression. “From Potter? Where in the world could he have gotten-” 

“He made it,” Severus interrupted her, a touch... defensively? 

“Oh! Alright...,” Lily was speechless, confused by the uncharacteristic reaction. Usually talk of James Potter left Severus annoyed or complaining, not... protective? She wasn’t sure what this was. But really she had more things to worry about.

The Ravenclaw Tower was empty and still Severus and Lily remained, looking expectantly at the map, watching as the blob of dots migrated to the Great Hall slowly, but steadily. Until, the only dots that remained was of Muffie and Faustina. 

“I think they’re waiting for you?” Severus said with a frown, glancing at Lily for her reaction. She wore a pained look, and she felt torn between hope for what that could mean and dread. 

“If only we had some cloaking charm or, or” 

“An invisibility cloak?” 

“See, I didn’t even know there were such things. How did I think I could keep my House from finding out I was Muggleborn. I’m surprised I lasted that long. And to be outed by Hecate, HECATE of all people.” Lily groaned and suppressed frustrated tears. She was all a hurricane of thoughts and feelings, mostly fear, but also anger.

“Lily, I guarantee that being a Muggleborn in the long run will not put you behind everyone else. It’ll take some time, there’s things I don’t know either. Mother rarely brought me in contact with the actual Magical World. All I know is from her stories and books. We can get through this,” Severus said calmly, taking her wrist and turning her gently towards him. “together. I’ll help you in all the ways I can.” He finished with a tiny smile and an earnest look in his dark eyes. 

Lily blinked away her unshed tears and nodded, too twisted up to vocalize her gratitude.

“They’re gone,” Severus said and stood, holding out his hand to help her up. Lily smiled back and took his hand, squeezing it gently and holding it firmly. “Let’s go.”

~~~

Severus let out a long breath as he collapsed onto his seat, Lily followed him into the compartment and gave him a smile on her flushed face. The last three hours the two had ran around the castle dodging people with the help of the map, making wild detours that made their trip from the dungeon to the Great Hall five times longer and somehow ending up by Gryffindor Tower at one point. That was when Sirius had seen them and for some reason came running after them with an incomprehensible yell. 

Lily had a particularly fun time sending tripping spells his way while Severus could barely breathe for the amount of his laughter. It lightened her own heart to see him happy enough that she could pretend everything was going to be alright.

By the time they made it to the Great Hall they had to grab a few pastries and run to catch the last carriage taking students to the train station. Neither of their minds were on Slytherin until they’d seen one of the Prefect’s sneer openly at Lily.

Lily had put on a brave face and Severus had made some rude gestures when the upperclassman had turned away. Then they’d been on their way, Lily holding onto Sev’s hand for support.

They’d chosen the furthest compartment to ensure no one would find them unless they were specifically looked for. And of course that’s why James and his friends had walked in on the two sleepily leaning against each other, Lily’s head on the raven’s shoulder and Severus’ head resting on hers.

“Sorry to interrupt,” James said loudly, not sounding the least bit sorry while jolting the two awake and off each other. Lily glared blearily at the intruder while Severus covered a yawn. 

“You weren’t at breakfast,” James continued, stepping into the compartment and ignoring the heated gaze of the green eyed girl. “Late night,” Severus muttered, his lack of sleep and the stress of their running around giving him a haggard look reminiscent of his days in the Hospital Wing. 

James frowned in worry and reached out. Only for Lily to swat his hand away. They shared an angry look before Sirius pushed through the entryway and demanded the map back.

Between Lily looking furious at the intrusion and James trying to placate Sirius, Severus blinked the sleep from his eyes and shot a confused look at Remus. Remus who was silently watching the scene unfold with an exasperated sigh. “Wait, so you didn’t make the map for me?” Severus asked, tone deadpan as his squinted suspiciously at his soulmate.

“Err… not exactly? But-”

“We made that,” Sirius gestured at the three Gryffindors in the compartment, “together. It was a group effort, as in for all of us, as in not made to be gifted to someone else.” James glared at his best friend, while Remus looked like he didn’t really want to be pulled into it. 

“Oh,” Severus said before rifling through his satchel and finding the yellowed parchment where he’d safely stored it. “Here, I don’t want to keep something not meant for me,” he said, meekly offering it to the irate boy. Sirius took it gratefully, giving his tutor an appreciative grin, just for James to snatch it back. “No, that’s alright, it was a prototype at best, you can have this one and we’ll work on another when term starts back up.”

“Are you daft, James? We were lucky to find th-” 

“I don’t feel comfortable keeping it, Potter, just take it back. If it wasn’t yours to give I have no right to it,” Severus cut in firmly, voice going frigid. Lily had a look of pure disdain on her face before she gently put her hand on her best friend’s wrist. 

“Black, here,” Severus said, holding out the parchment, neatly folded up, when the hazel eyed boy refused it. 

“No, Sev, this… this has all been a misunderstanding,” James muttered halfheartedly.

“Did you,” Severus’ voice said slowly, enunciating exactly, “or did you not give me a something that you and your friends were making together and then gave away without their knowledge?”

“Err, yes…?”

“Then there’s no misunderstanding. You were wrong, you went behind your friends’ backs. I didn’t ask for that. I’ve never asked you for anything. So do you think I’d want you to completely disregard your friends’ trust for me. Soulmate or not, you shouldn’t treat people like that,” Severus’s cheeks were glowing red and his eyes were glimmering as he said his piece. He looked at James, searching. Whatever he found must have been displeasing because he turned away, refusing to look back at him despite James’ pleas.

“You need to leave,” Lily grit out, her wand outstretched and sparking a threateningly red. Sirius left quickly, clutching the map protectively, while James had to be physically shoved out by Remus.

The sad eyed boy looked back and gave Lily a regretful smile. “I know that looked bad, Sirius was really upset about it last night, but James really did mean well. He just wants you to be happy, Sev.”

“At what cost though?” Sev muttered, still not turning around. Lily shared a worried glance with Remus, before he followed his friends’ exit silently.

“Sev, I’m sorry that worked out that way…,” Lily said softly, rubbing her cheek against his shoulder as she encircled his middle with her arms in a tender hug.

“So stupid, Lil,” Severus said softly, “I should have known better.”

“Shhh, none of that. You are, without a doubt, the smartest person I know. But you can’t control people, they’re just going to do what they want.”

They spent the rest of the train ride silently dozing and leaning against each other for comfort.

~~~

The train ride back to King’s Cross was much faster than the ride to Hogwarts had seemed. The two had been jostled from their nap as they’d entered the station and were forced to rush to store away their school robes and into their Muggle clothes. 

The platform was overrun with families awaiting to pick up their children and somehow the two got separated. While Severus searched for Lily’s family, who were generous enough to offer him a ride home, he was accosted by his housemates who’d worried he’d been left behind. 

“Couldn’t find you anywhere, but then Dansforth said he found you and Lily at the end of the train sleeping. I’m glad we caught you before you left!” Patina exclaimed as she hugged him fiercely. Severus patted her back as he tried to catch his breath, exchanging an amused look with Dansforth.

“Going to miss you, mate. Maybe you can come up to the homestead to visit sometime,” Angelo offered as he clasped his arm companionably, his extensive family calling out for him to hurry along. 

“I’ll write you during break, Sev. Don’t forget the night cream, and I’ll talk to my family about having you over during the summer to our cottage. You’d love the seaside!” Mithian said quickly, giving his cheek a quick peck. He blushed in bemusement as Dansforth laughed, giving a final wave and nod as he followed after his Slytherin cousin and her family. 

“You must be Severus,” a warm voice came from the crowd as he had attempted to resume his search. A smiling lady in tailored plum robes glided over to him, her golden brown eyes twinkling from her slightly wrinkled oval face. Trailing behind her was a tall, mocha skinned man with a luminescent smile and familiar hazel eyes. Behind the tall man was James, giving him a wary smile as they approached. His cheeks were slightly flushed, whether from the cold or embarrassment it was hard to say. 

“James has written so much about you, I just had to say hello,” she looked at him kindly, “I’m his mother, Euphemia, and this is my husband, Fleamont. We were so surprised to find James had found you so quickly.”

Severus knew immediately what she meant by “found.” He, himself, hadn’t said a word of his soulmate to his mother in the letters he’d sent her. Didn’t even tell her that he’d been in the Hospital Wing for nearly 2 weeks. Even from afar Severus tried to protect his mother from the stress of his struggles. He knew she had enough to worry about with his father and their money troubles. Just thinking about going home to those troubles made Severus’ anxiety and dread rise. 

“It was… unexpected, that’s for sure,” Severus responded awkwardly, shivering as a particularly punishing gust swept the platform. “Oh, you poor dear. We should get you to somewhere warmer,” Euphemia tutted as she gestured for her husband and son to lead the way back to the station.

“I-I’m actually looking for my friend and her family. We were separated in the crowd and they’re supposed to bring me home with them,” Severus explained even as Mrs. Potter dragged him gently by the sleeve with them. 

“Hmm, the crowd is thinning out some, do you see them anywhere? What does your friend look like?” Fleamont asked, easily looking over the heads of those around him. “Bright red hair, very hard to miss,” Severus said as they huddled in a corner, pressed up against Euphemia and James. The bespectacled boy was strangely quiet, looking at his feet pensively, as if afraid Severus would say something in front of his parents.

“James says you’ve got a knack for potions,” Fleamont casually brought up as his wife fussed over the two boys. “Did he tell you our family history? The Potters actually made their money in the old potions game.” The pride was clear in his voice and the peaceful smile on his handsome face.

“Oh?” Severus hummed, perking up in interest, as James groaned in mortification. “Dad, please don’t start talking about-”

“Skelegro, ever heard of that one? Probably one of our best out there,” the tall man was now practically preening, even as he tussled his son’s hair in response to his grumbles. Severus smiled wistfully at the casual way the family acted around each other, not even realizing it until he noticed James watching him with curiosity. 

He seemed to be about to say something when they heard Lily’s voice call his name, and then there she was looking at the foursome in wonder. “We’ve been looking for you, Sev. Mum was worried you’d gotten lost,” Lily said playfully as she tugged on his sleeve, smiling politely at the adults while ignoring James.

“Goodbye, dear. I hope you have a wonderful Christmas holiday,” Euphemia said, giving him a quick hug before fixing the scarf around his neck. “It was nice to meet you, son,” Fleamont called cheerfully, a goodnatured smile on his face. 

He fumbled his own pleasantries in return and only caught one last glance at James’ sad face before Lily brought him to her waiting parents.

“Severus, honey, you must be frozen in that jacket! Let’s get you into the car and warm you up,” Mrs. Evans said cheerily as Mr. Evans lead the way to the car park. “What a beautiful scarf you have there.”

It wasn’t until she’d said it that he’d realized Mrs. Potter must have wound her own scarf around his neck without him noticing. It was soft to the touch and a nice charcoal gray, and probably the most expensive thing Severus had ever worn. 

Lily gave the scarf an assessing glance, but chose not to comment. Instead she offered the cookies her mother had baked for the trip and started chattering about school and anything that happened since her last letter. Unsurprisingly she left out her little dilemma with her housemates.

Severus sat back, tired but not enough to nap again, letting the familiar voices soothe him as he fought down the dread he felt. The closer to home he got the worse his anxiety. He absently stroked the scarf and let his mind drift to the Potters.

James’ parents were kind and also older than he’d expected. Comparatively his parents were quite young. Something about them made him feel… safe. Strange.

TBC….


	10. Part Ten

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Small chapter, a little more introspective. May be edited in the future, but I'm rather eager to post and write some more.

It was exactly how he left it. The whole house was the same dark, depressingly cold place he remembered. But it was blessedly silent, which meant it was safe. Quiet is safe used to be his mantra ever since he could remember. When the Evans dropped him off he had waved them off, waiting for their car to turn the corner before attempting to enter.

The door was unlocked, most probably because there was nothing of value instead of the safety of the neighborhood. He pushed his beat up trunk passed the doorway and peaked cautiously around the house. 

When he got to his parents’ room he held his breath and listened hard. Nothing. Then he peaked in and saw that his Mum was resting on the bed, face telling him she really needed her sleep.

He instead went to the kitchen and took stock of what food they had. He thought of Poppy’s list and dietary advice. He had his potions safely locked away in his trunk but other than that he didn’t foresee the next two weeks going as she’d planned for him. 

And that was about right because by the end of the third day Severus felt like how he had during the first two weeks of school: too thin, too empty, too dizzy to think straight. On Christmas Eve he had dragged himself out of a daze when he heard Lily throwing rocks at his bedroom window. 

Her mom had gifted his family with homemade fruitcake, dense with fruit and nuts and making Severus’ mouth water. Lily took one look at his reaction and demanded he come to her home for dinner. It didn’t take much to convince him as he heard the telltale creak of the stair and the dark muttering that followed it. 

One very careful climbing escapade in which Lily hovered worriedly beneath him and he hugged onto the crumbling brick walls as he inched down to the ground and they rushed away from the sound of something breaking. 

The Evans’ were gracious in welcoming Severus, nodding encouragingly as he shily smiled back in response. Petunia watched him with narrowed eyes, taking in the strange combination of ragged corduroys, clumsily knit sweater and soft, expensive scarf. He stared back defiantly, reveling in the sweater his mother had knit him and given him as an early Christmas present. It was a deep blue color, in honor of the House he’d joined.

The morning after he’d come home his mother had spent the entire day with him, talking about his semester and what it was like in his own House. She’d told him how proud she was, calling him clever and talented and having a bright future. It was bittersweet to hear because they both knew having a bright future meant being far away from Spinster Way. 

The next day she was feeling too weak to be about. Severus had scrounged up some vegetables from the root cellar to make her a soup and hum her to a fitful sleep. She’d gifted the sweater to him then, fearing she’d forget about it over the course of the next few days.

The sweater was a bit long in the arm, covering past his fingertips, and the yarn was pulled at a few spots showcasing it to be the product of a novice, but he loved it.

That night Severus took tiny, thorough bites, listened to the family converse around him, smiling as Lily seemingly forgotten all her worries while needling Petunia about her newest beau. The Evans family was the picture perfect family, and usually it made Severus uncomfortable to be amongst them no matter how many times Mrs. Evans had invited him to a meal. But this time around it reminded him of eating meals at the Ravenclaw table. Pleasantly mannered with random bursts of energy from the youngest. 

Petunia even reminded him of Angelo’s mentor, Starling, prim and eager to seem older than her actual age. It was always funny to see that particular mentor and mentee interact. Angelo usually made her break her act and she’d be chasing him down the corridor at his cheek. Severus wondered passingly what Petunia would be like as a witch. What House would she be in? Maybe Slytherin, her attitude did strike him as startlingly similar to how some Purebloods treated others. But then again there were snobs in every House as far as Severus could tell.

Severus left the Evans’ house stomach full and with a small container of leftovers that Mrs. Evans insisted would go to waste while they were away on their skiing trip. Severus took it reluctantly, thinking how to ration it to feed his mother and himself. 

He came home to the television turned up loud enough to be heard outside. He hesitated and opened the door slowly, then quickly running up the steps to his room, avoiding the creaky steps all the way. An hour later of listening closely he made his way to the kitchen, creeping past the living room door and barely breathing until he was back safely in his room

The next day he woke to a light tapping against his window, at first he was confused to be back in his bed at home and not in his dormitory. Then he noticed the great barn owl craning its head inquisitively from outside his window. He quickly let it in, shivering as it brought in a gust of chilly air. 

In its claws the owl had a plainly wrapped package with a parchment rolled and tied to his leg. Severus pulled the parchment free before setting the package aside.

_Dear Severus,_

_It was wonderful meeting you at the train station. I will confess that I was astonished when James had written us the very day he had left for Hogwarts. My sweet, brave boy has always been independent and we expected to have to write him first to remind him of his poor, lonely parents thinking of him at home._

_Imagine my surprise upon hearing in this letter that he had defied our own expectations and found his very soul mate even before making it to Hogwarts! Upon reflection I am not too surprised, James was always a willful, impatient child. I’m sure he did not make it easy for you when he found you._

_Believe me, we are not blind to the interaction, or lack there of, you two had on the platform. I reassure you, James will not speak of it and we will not press him, this is between the two of you only. Soul mates you two may be, but believe it or not Fleamont and I did not always see eye to eye. I know our dear boy thinks us the perfect match, but we have found a balance all these years that only makes it look simple._

_I am sorry for what grief my son puts you through to measure up to some image he has of what you two should be. He has a romantic soul, but a rather rough touch about achieving his goals; he gets it from his paternal grandfather I assure you, not my side!_

_Accompanying this letter is a small Christmas present I hope you put to good use, the mother in me could not help but notice an opportunity in appropriate gift giving._

_Have a wonderful break, dear, and I hope to see you at Kings Crossing before you return to Hogwarts,_

_Euphemia Potter_

Severus set the parchment down and looked at the package laying innocently on his floor, the owl patiently watched him, blinking its dark intelligent eyes.

He picked up the package and carefully opened it, wondering what she had deemed “appropriate.” The paper gave way to a dark blue, almost black material. Once shaken out it revealed itself to be a handsome winter cloak with shiny onyx buttons. Examining it further the interior was lined with softer fabric that he brought wonderingly to his cheek. 

Remembering himself as the owl made a small fluttering noise he quickly found a piece of parchment and tried to think of a suitable reply. Euphemia’s kindness was something of a novelty to him. The only other adults that seemed to care about him were the Evans’ and he always made sure to distance himself lest they learn too much about his homelife.

Taking his time, he wrote out a thanks and pleasant inquiries, feeling curious about the Potters. She seemed so different from her son, far more subtle, more charming and more considerate. Even the husband had seemed calm and collected where James always seemed too hyper for Severus to keep up with.

Once the letter was finished he tied it gently to the owl, frowning regretfully that he had no morsel to offer the bird. He patiently waited for the owl to fly off in the horizon before he turned back to his newly acquired cloak. It was thicker than his quilt and fit him perfectly. It also matched nicely with the scarf, must have been the same designer. 

The house was quiet, but the need for sleep had completely left him. Severus eventually dug his textbook out for Herbology to get ahead for the next semester. Midmorning he was startled out of reading on gillyweed by a tapping on his window, when he looked out he saw a tiny owl struggling to hover by his window as the strong winds blew the other way. He hurried over, opening the window and grabbing the creature to get it out of the weather.

This one came bearing a letter, this time from Angelo. The rest of the day was much the same, a feathered guest come bearing letters and gifts. From Gretchen came some meat pies and apples, Dansforth sent along a nutty treacle fudge made in joint effort with his twin sister, and Mithian sent both a fruitcake and a new concoction with instructions to be followed to the letter. 

He replied to each letter with positive responses, while his stomach growled at the scent of rich food. He went downstairs and stored the foodstuffs away, carefully slicing each into equal pieces and eating some to keep himself from entering a fog. 

When he returned he contemplated the rest of break, bringing his new cloak up onto the bed and wrapping himself in it before falling into a peaceful nap.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Headcanon: Severus is a quiet mouse that loves his Mum and hates to worry her. Mr Snape is just the monster he tries to evade as much as possible. The Evans like Severus but handle him with gentle gloves cause they think he'll run off if they push too much. Petunia wouldn't fit anywhere else, that's why I put her in Slytherin.
> 
> Also Patina is Muggleborn so didn't have an owl to send Severus anything, but she would have made him a fruit pie if she could :)


	11. Part Eleven

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Return to Hogwarts sets the tone for the rest of the school year.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sort of just setting up the stage for the rest of the semester so some filler to keep it all connected.

The rest of break was both torturously long and shockingly fast. The days his mother was feeling well enough to spend time with him went by fast, while the days of locking himself away from his father’s volatile presence crept slowly making his anxiety bubble and turn his stomach. 

Thankfully Lily returned from her trip the day before break ended and they spent the day by the frozen pond, recounting their times away from each other. Lily kept giving his winterrobe suspicious looks but Severus insisted that Mrs. Potter was trustworthy. There had been a couple more letter exchanges, including Euphemia insisting that Severus keep the scarf as she had intentionally chosen the winterrobe to match with. The mothering tone in her letters mullified his usual discomfort when others treated him like a charity. Her gifts and letters were sincere and heartfelt.

“I’m a little scared for tomorrow, Sev,” Lily admitted as they sat on their rock in their special place. With the trees overhead protecting them from the brutal wind their spot proved again to be the perfect hideaway. “Have you been in contact at all with Muffy and Faustina?” Severus asked quietly, trying to be the support she needed. On the one hand he wanted to help her, but he also knew Lily was so much stronger than she thought she was. If any Muggleborn could handle being in Slytherin and come out alive it would be Lily Evans.

“They sent me holiday cards from Paris, but it didn’t say much. I...I didn’t send anything back with their owls, I couldn’t think of one thing to say,” Lily admitted miserably. “I want to believe that they’ll stand by me, but… what about the older students? Everyone looks up to them and-and…”

Severus reached out and squeezed her hand. She fell silent and let out a shaky breath. It was hard to be vulnerable, for both of them. Pretending everything was fine while her parents chatted by the fireplace and lead the way through the slopes all holiday had been hard. Lily never realized what being a witch from a Muggle family really meant until that moment when she saw her parents and Petunia together, being just the perfect normal family, without a single clue what she was going through. They’d never understand. And maybe Lily finally understood why the two worlds never collided, but she didn’t like it. She’d never felt more alone. Isolated.

They spent the rest of the day like that, leaning against the other, hands tightly holding onto the other, both thinking of what tomorrow would bring.  
~~~

“Severus! How was your holiday?” Patina exclaimed, running up to them as they walked onto the Platform, her parents and younger siblings were nowhere to be seen so they must have just left. “It was fairly uneventful,” Severus replied with an indulgent grin listening as she told him about her adventures in London with her grandparents. She eyed the two’s linked hands but didn’t say a word. They kept the conversation going, Lily remaining silent with a halfhearted smile on her face, when Angelo sauntered up to them.

Collectively they dragged their trunks to the boarding locomotive and found a compartment towards the front of the train, Prefects coming in and out of the doors next to theirs. Mithian and Dansforth eventually joined the four of them and the atmosphere was kept cheerful with Angelo’s recounting of his many cousin’s escapades in finding the perfect Christmas tree.

Halfway through the voyage the door slid open unexpectedly. Both Severus and Lily grew stiff when they recognized the green tie that the Prefect wore. “Alright?” he addressed the group, his blue eyes lingering on Lily as he surveyed the group. “Yes, everything’s alright here,” Severus bit out irrately, shifting to block his friend from view.

The Prefect looked sour at his tone and left without comment. The other Ravenclaws chose to continue their conversations without skipping a beat. They didn’t need to know the details when they had two eyes and very insightful brains. Plus Angelo was a terrible gossip half the time and they knew Lily had a falling out with her House before break.

Lily smiled at Severus and settled against the window, watching as the Ravenclaws chatted. Dansforth was teaching Severus a card game that involved tiny explosions while Patina watched in awe, flinching every time a crack would interrupt. Not for the last time this month Lily wondered what it would be like if she’d been in the same House as Severus. What if she’d been in Ravenclaw? She wouldn’t be in this pickle, and she wouldn’t have to wait until breakfast to tell Severus what new idea she’d come up with over the night.

The door slid open and two curious faces peaked in. Lily’s face dropped into a scowl, while Severus looked determinedly at the cards fanned out in front of him. “Are you lost?” Mithian finally asked, her voice conveying nothing. Everyone knew that these particular Gryffindors were to be handled delicately lest they become a target of the next prank war. “Just looking for someone. Alright, Sev? Haven’t seen Remus anywhere have you?” Sirius asked pleasantly, ignoring the tension and his silent friend beside him. It was painfully obvious that he was trying to act nature, but failing miserably with his nervous grin.

“No,” Severus said lightly, gracing Sirius with an honest frown. “Haven’t seen him, not at the station and he didn’t pass us by. But I’m sure you’ll find him, he’s got to be somewhere on the train….”

“I wonder what happens if someone misses the train? Is there any other ways to Hogwarts?” Patina asked, worrying her lip in concern. “They could floo to somewhere in Hogsmeade and take the road up to the gate,” Dansforth said reasonably, wincing as his card exploded. 

“But the gate is locked to outsiders, according to my older cousin, Melly. It’s to protect us from invaders,” Angelo piped up, finally stopping the story he was telling Mithian. “What invaders? Who in their right mind would attack Hogwarts?” Mithian scowled at the boy and shook her head. “Death Eaters,” Dansforth answered. 

Lily frowned, “What in the world is a Death Eater?” Patina shared her look of confusion and stared at Dansforth expectantly. “It’s this group of nuts following some guy who calls himself Voldemort, they’re a bunch of blood purists, think if your family is old and rich you should have more power in the wizarding world.” 

“What!?” Patina roared, standing up in anger, Lily almost did the same but stopped herself, suddenly remembering hushed conversations she’d overheard from upperclassmen, something about meetings and loyalty. “It’s been in the news recently, Daily Prophet, there have been a lot of vandalism of stores in Diagon Alley, some hate crimes toward Muggleborn store owners. Some particularly suspicious disappearances....,” Mithian added in, looking worried as the topic strayed. Patina looked frightened and Lily just felt plain sick, her mind running wild with what might have happened to the missing people.

“You should ask Evans about it, she must know a lot, considering her House,” Potter finally put in his two cents. He’d almost sound bored if he didn’t spit her name out like a curse The room froze and nobody moved for a solid moment. Lily felt the fury start to rise, her blood boil.

“You have no idea what you’re talking about,” Severus said just above a whisper. In the silence of the room they could all hear the iciness. His eyes flashed, his nostrils flared and his cheeks turned ruddy, the most angry any of them had ever seen him. The Ravenclaws watched stunned at the turn of the conversation.

“I think we better get back to looking for Remmy,” Sirius broke in tugging forcefully at James’ sleeve. Severus didn’t even blink as James was dragged away, their eyes still glaring at each other. 

“Well,” Patina broke the silence awkwardly, trying to lighten the mood by steering the conversation back, “I guess I better start reading those newspapers if I ever want to know what’s really going on. It’s so annoying being out of the loop.” “You’ll catch on quick,” Mithian said soothingly, her eyes flickering between Severus and where James had been. She settled on Lily who was staring out the window, trying to avoid any attention.

The rest of the train ride was left to Angelo’s stories and Patina’s questions.

~~~

That night dinner went by far too fast as Lily and Severus ate with the Ravenclaws. Lily could have sworn she felt eyes watching her throughout the meal, making her peckish and twitchy. The talk of Death Eaters had stolen any drop of confidence she had left. In contrast , Severus was calm, having recovered from the run in with his soulmate. He felt back at home within the ancient castle. Gretchen sat beside him asking him about his holidays, which he carefully dodged. 

“Well, I suppose it’s a good time to retire,” Gretchen laughed as Severus and several others started to yawn. Lily jolted in her seat and looked around the Hall nervously. “So soon? We barely even ate any dessert,” Lily murmured, reaching for peach cobbler that had made itself home in front of Angelo. “Lily, you barely ate any dinner, period,” Mithian said frankly, looking squarely at the half finished plate of mash and sausage. 

“Lil,” Severus said, making her look up, “You can do this.” His expression was open, genuine; he clearly believed in her. Despite what happened earlier in the day being back had banished his gloomy thoughts that had hung over him throughout the Christmas holiday. He had to be optimistic, for Lily.

“Don’t show any weakness, Evans,” Angelo added cheerfully, patting her shoulder for support.

The Ravenclaws stood as one, ready to retreat for the night at their tower. Mithian nodded approvingly as Lily followed their lead. Patina threw her an encouraging smile, and Dansforth sent her a sincere thumbs up. As they exited the Hall the Ravenclaws turned left as Lily turned right. With one more glance at Severus’ encouraging expression Lily took a deep breath and started to make her way to the Slytherin Dungeon.

~~~  
Severus took a deep breath and let it mist out in front of him. Under the full moon, back home at Hogwarts, he felt alive again. And despite the confrontation on the train, and the chill in the air, he felt warm, being surrounded by all the people he didn’t even realize he missed. He’d never really thought about that part of going to Hogwarts, making friends, ones that he wanted to see everyday. Other than Lily he’d never really paid other kids any mind; it was easier to ignore them than to approach them and be rejected for being the “weird Snape kid.”

The wind swept over him, making the tips of his ears burn, but still he stayed, content in the warm provided by Euphemia’s gift. Time flew and Severus was jolted out of his trance by the sound of footsteps on the stone steps. The door swung violently open, helped by the wind, but no one emerged. Severus sat up startled and peered at the door frame. 

“Hello,” he called, standing curiously to see better. But there was truly no one there. Severus tucked a stray lock behind his ear and chanced another look at the full moon, perfectly round like a single pearl set in crystal embroidered velvet. It was a beautiful night, but he had to sleep. Tomorrow was the restart of term, but more importantly he’d find out how Lily’s return was received by her fellow Slytherin.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry to take so long, finally really getting into the swing of my new job and can finally use my spare time for writing!


	12. Part Twelve

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here we go, a Lily chapter, let's see how we play this. 
> 
> Thanks for the patience of all my loyal readers, I can't believe I still haven't finished first year yet, yikes!

Lily took a deep breath at the door leading to the Slytherin dormitory. The hallway was completely empty but the muffled sounds of merriment could be heard through the door. “Now or never, Evans,” Lily muttered to herself, steeling herself before she entered. 

The common room looked the same, not a single piece of furniture out of place. Upperclassmen populated the area closest to the fireplace, trading stories from their short time away. The younger students were showing off the presents they received from new polished gobstones to shining gold gadgets that Lily would never guess the use for. 

No one looked up when she entered. There was no sudden change in the room, no condemning silence or judgemental gazes. A chorus of laughter erupted in one corner of the room but it was just a sixth year recounting the accident his little sister caused in a crowded Egyptian marketplace. 

Maybe, maybe this wasn’t as bad as I thought it’d be, Lily thought as she forced herself to cross the room casually. She stepped over some gobstones that had went flying, smiling slightly as the third year muttered an apology as he gathered them up. She let out the breath she’d been holding and turned the knob to let herself into her bedroom.

She saw her trunk waiting patiently at the end of her bed. She smiled and took in the room in its entirety. Her three roommates were all there. Faustina was lounging on her bed, feet tucked under her as she read a magazine featuring a handsome wizard with a sparkling smile on its cover. Muffy was sitting at her dresser in front of her mirror, brushing her hair and humming under her breath. Hecate was half under her bed, seemingly looking for something she must have misplaced. It was like before Christmas holiday even happened. 

“Hello, all!” Lily said cheerfully, making her way over to and jumping onto her bed. Faustina glimpsed over with a nervous grin while Hecate startled and hit her head under the bed. Only Muffy ignored Lily’s greeting, without looking away from the mirror. 

Hecate crawled back from under her bed and sat on the carpeted floor rubbing her head gingerly. “‘Ello, Lil,” Hecate said dazedly, climbing to her feet and brushing her velvet skirt of any imagined dust bunnies. Muffy made a growl noise and glared at the clumsy girl through the reflection of the mirror. Hecate yelped and turned away from Lily as if thoroughly scolded. 

There was an awkward silence in which Lily tried to catch Faustina’s eye with a questioning gaze, but whom looked at the floor sadly instead. “Umm, alright, Muffy?” Lily asked hesitantly, the dreadful feeling slowly creeping back into her chest.

“Ah,” Muffy exclaimed dramatically as she spun in her seat to finally look at Lily. “So you’re finally acknowledging us?” Muffy asked, fake-surprised. Lily blinked in confusion, still not catching Faustina’s eye and being turned away by Hecate. “Wha-what-”

“We all thought that you'd forgotten us over the holidays” Muffy interrupted her stammering, venom slowly poisoning the sickly sweet tone of her voice. “After all you were missing all of the last morning, could not be found on the train, and lo, our letters and cards were completely ignored. I mean if Rodrick wasn’t the finest Eagle owl we owned I would have thought he’d lost our letters and they’d never gotten to you.” 

Lily looked on with guilt and horror as Muffy’s eyes flashed as she slowly crept closer and closer to where Lily sat. Muffy’s porcelain cheeks was practically glowing pink, but Lily was sure it was no match for the bright red of her entire face. Hell, even her ears were burning.

“I-I am sorry, I just didn’t know-” “Oh, you didn’t know,” Muffy interrupted once again. “Well then all is forgiven! Poof! Ignoring us and lying to us-”

“I never lied to you,” Lily interrupted, this time some anger bleeding into her voice just as Muffy’s started to. “You lied to us,” Muffy repeated louder to talk over the redhead’s fumbling. “For three months we thought we knew who you were, Lily Evans, but it turned out we know nothing about you!” 

The two shared a glare, neither wanting to back down. “She… she has a point,” Faustina finally chimed in, this time she looked Lily in the eye and she could see the hurt and anger in them. “We thought you were our friend, but you never told us anything about who you were. I mean how can we really trust you’re really being you when we don’t even know who you are?”

Hecate nodded in agreement from where she was turned facing the wall. Lily looked between her two friends, both looking at her angrily, not sure what to say. She’d thought the worst of what would happen would have to do with the House hating her for something she couldn’t control, being a Muggleborn, and their own prejudice. Instead her closest friends were looking at her with such betrayal, calling her a liar. 

Tears filled up her eyes as she felt helpless, because in a way they were right, she had been keeping her real self from them, but also she had felt so much more herself with them than she ever felt at Muggle school. “I-” Lily choked on a sob, blinking away the tears to see her friends continue to be unmoved by her weakness. They looked even more contemptuous, the sort of stone cold glares she’d expected from those in the common room.

With one last watery gasp of breath Lily jumped up from her bed and ran for the door, wanting to escape the whole situation. The painful accusations in their eyes. She leaned against the door as soon as she got to the other side and took a steadying breath. It shuddered through her, rattling her chest and making a couple tears escape to race down her cheeks. She finally sat herself in the closest chair, thankful it wasn’t occupied. 

The room was quieter now than it was when she’d left it. Looking up she realized, finally, the attention of the room was on her. The third years playing gobstones were quietly judging her, while the sixth years were talking behind their hands as if she couldn’t see them. The seventh years were rolling their eyes, while everyone else looked vaguely pitying. Lily’s cheeks reddened once again, this time in embarrassment, apparently they’d been louder than they’d thought, the whole common room seemed to know exactly what had just transpired. 

“Aww, is the widdle Mudblood sad that her friends finally see her for what she really is?” came the voice of the last person, excepting Potter, that Lily really wanted to hear at the moment. Tall, with a severely freckled face and unforgiving dark brown eyes, Darlene the third year. 

“Sod off, Darlene,” Lily muttered halfheartedly, turning slightly in her seat, wishing she had one of those invisibility cloaks right about now. She couldn’t go back to her bedroom, and she felt like leaving the common room would be a big mistake. “Oh, yeah?” Darlene said loudly, shoving Lily’s shoulder sharply into the hard wood of her chair. 

Everyone was watching, but not even the Prefects looked interested in intervening. “With what army? You’re all alone here, you lying Mudblood. Not so high and mighty now, are you,” the elder girl sneered, her wand casually dangling from her right hand. Lily looked at her furiously, helplessly. On the one hand she would like nothing more than to make Darlene eat her words, prove her wrong, that she could stand up her sneering snotty face. Another part of her knew she was just a first year with barely half a year under her belt and biding her time would be the smarter way. 

Angelo’s words echoed back to her and she jumped out of her chair, shoving Darlene to stumble back a few meters, wand pointing squarely at her opponent’s chest. She muttered a hex at random, but it only came out as a sickly green spark as Darlene’s own curse quickly caught her in the face. She was sent to the ground with a thump and scrabbled for her wand with one hand as her other arm covered her face protectively. When she looked up Darlene was pointing her wand directly between her eyes. The older girl laughed as Lily’s eyes glared angrily even as purple splotches spread across her skin, slowly starting to itch more and more insistently.

“Enough,” one of the seventh year Prefects finally barked as Lily made to slash a spell at Darlene’s legs. One Prefect roughly picked Lily up, guiding her apathetically out of the common room as other students jeered and snickered at her blotchy skin. Her skin burned under the itching with the power of an angry flush. Before the common room door closed she took one last glance at Darlene, laughing and being commended by her friends, hatred making her breath come in roughly as she tried to resist the urge to turn back to attack.

The walk to the Hospital Wing was silent, they only encountered Professor Sprout patrolling but she took one look at Lily and tsked disappointedly but without comment. The Prefect delivered her to Madame Pomfrey with a practiced ease and reassured the mediwitch that only Lily need be seen to. 

Lily was treated swiftly with a counterspell and a potion for the itching. She feigned drowsiness to spend the night on one of the cots, but stayed up half the night seething.

The next morning Lily woke to the sound of Severus’ voice asking Madame Pomfrey for his monthly potion. As the light steps of the mediwitch faded, Lily peaked out from her cot and beckoned Severus over. 

“Lily?” Severus said in surprise, drifting over. “Shh,” Lily hissed, pointing to the cot farthest from her that was occupied with a small lump. They both looked curiously over and were surprised to see Remus, sleeping with a grimace on his paler than normal face.

“What are you doing here,” Severus whispered as he rounded Lily’s cot. She signalled that she’d explain later as Madame Pomfrey reentered the room. “Here you go, Severus, drink it all, go on. Ms. Evans, finally awake? How are you feeling?” the kindly woman asked in a hushed voice, casually drawing a curtain across to belatedly block their view of the slumbering Gryffindor. 

“Much better, may I go with Severus to breakfast now?” Lily asked sweetly, flashing a smile as she stood and straightened her robes. The adult hmmed and took back the goblet of Severus’ potion. “Yes, of course, you should be fine now. I hope you’ll keep yourself out of the Hospital Wing from now on though, Ms. Evans,” she said carefully. Lily nodded eagerly and dragged Severus out by his sleeve as he said his farewells.

In the corridor the raven haired boy pulled away and fixed her with an accusing look. “Oh, none of that from you, Sev, please,” Lily groan, feigning amusement. “Lily, why did you sleep in the Hospital Wing last night?” Severus asked, not following as she attempted to resume their journal. Lily sighed and turned back to him. His frown softened and worry painted his countenance. “Was it that bad?” he asked sadly. Lily bit her lip and shook her head. 

“Yes and no,” she said and stopped. “Well?” Severus urged her. She took a big breath. “I need you to teach me DADA, outside the classroom things,” she said carefully, gesturing at his wand hand uselessly. “What did they do?” Severus asked angrily, his expression turning thunderous. “No, no,” the redhead hurried to stop him as he’d turned towards the dungeons. 

“It was… it was just Darlene. Except for Muffy, and to an extent Faustina and Hecate, no one seemed to care about my status. Darlene just, ugh, that stupid… dundermuffer took a shot at me while I was down. She would have done that regardless of me being Muggleborn or not. She hasn’t liked me since the year started. And, well, I didn’t really need to stay but I didn’t want to go back yet.” Lily looked down in shame, but up when she felt Severus hug her awkwardly to his chest. He patted her back and she let out a tearful laugh before taking a deep breath. 

“If you could teach me… some of what you’d studied before coming here, just so I can defend myself…. I can not let her get away with what she did,” Lily said fiercely. The boy hummed thoughtfully and started to lead them to the Great Hall. 

When they arrived they made for the Ravenclaw table, half full and the only ones awake this early. Angelo was sitting with Mithian as they talked about something that had apparently made the front page of the Daily Prophet. “Good morning, Mith, Angelo,” Severus greeted them before sitting. “Morning,” Mithian said distractedly, frowning sourly at the paper. Angelo nodded at them with an unusually serious look. “There was an attack last night, a Muggle town nearby Godric’s Hollow was vandalized,” Angelo said somberly. “That’s where your family lives?” Severus asked cautiously, peeking at the article as the other Ravenclaw angled it towards him. 

“Is it those Death Eaters?” Lily asked in a whisper, suddenly her issues seeming small in comparison. “It says there were no clues to who did it but that there was clearly magic involved and that it was an organized crime,” Mithian answered, looking darkly into her cup of tea. 

As if on cue a crowd of green clad students entered the hall chattering. The foursome watched them make their way to their table. Lily spotted Muffy and Faustina among them. Muffy refused to look over but the brunette sent a mixed look of apprehension and worry her way. Severus took her hand and gave it a squeeze. 

“I think I know a place I could… tutor you,” Severus muttered lowly and Lily smiled gratefully in return.


	13. Part 13

January 9th was a Sunday. It also so happened to be Severus’s birthday. The only person who could have possibly known was Lily. And yet that morning Severus had woken later than usual and opened his curtains to reveal not the sun light streaming in as usual but all his friends crouching in wait, shooting confetti from their wands and shouting as he dazedly stumbled off his bed. 

The girls came forward bringing a blue frosted cake with golden letters exclaiming in all capitals “HAPPY BIRTHDAY, SEV!” Lily rushed forward to light the single candle in the middle and urged him to make a wish. She was in a much better mood than she’d been since her encounter with Darlene. 

Severus closed his eyes at Patina’s beckoning and blew the candle out with a great breath. He’d wished for many more moments like this in the future because this was starting to look like the best birthday he’d ever had. 

After they’d all eaten their fill of birthday cake for breakfast they all went out in a group to the grounds, picking a isolated spot by the lake to build snowmen. Angelo tried to start a snowball fight by pelting Dansworth, who dodged but otherwise ignored his dormmate’s attempt. It was when the brunette made the mistake of targeting Patina when a real fight broke out. The Muggleborn proceeding to chase after him with an enraged bellow and a charm that did all the pelting for her. 

Severus laughed harder than he ever remembered when one of Patina’s snowballs went wild and hit one of the trees, causing an avalanche of snow to fall on both the battling First Years. 

By the time they’d escaped the cold they had missed lunch and had instead retreated to the Ravenclaw tower to warm themselves by the fire. That was when Severus officially was gifted with small knickknacks and treats wrapped up in shiny ribbon. He wasn’t expecting any of it and it felt like such a surreal day. Beyond his wildest expectations.

From their perch they could see the Upperclassmen trailing back from Hogsmeade weekend to the Great Hall for dinner. They left as the sun sunk below the horizon and Lily joined them at their blue trimmed table. The meal consisted of Gretchen being grilled about what Hogsmeade was like and what she’d done, meanwhile Patina lamented having to wait another two years to be permitted to go.

At the end of the meal the whole Hall seemed to drift sleepily away to their dormitories to slumber away all the activities of the day. Severus held Lily back from making a quick retreat to her dorm before her other dormmates. She’d become prone to waking early and either timing it to get their way before or as they were falling asleep.

“Sunday nights Dueling Club is hosted in the practice room on the 5th floor,” Severus said quickly as explanation. Dueling Club excluded First Years to participate, but they were permitted to observe their elders. Severus had gone a couple times in the last term along with Mithian, silently judging and critiquing each member on their technique and spell choices. If he’d known Darlene had been bothering Lily he would have warned her about the Third year. She was a rather bold dueler, prone to striking first and weaker on her defense than some of her peers. But she also was a dedicated member of the club, looked up to the president, Terrence Higgins, enough to pester him after every meeting.

The first step Severus wanted to teach Lily was how to observe your opponent and use their weaknesses against them. They slipped in quietly in the middle of two 5th years dueling. One, a Hufflepuff, was slowly circling while the Gryffindor was flinging spells that missed its target each time. The Hufflepuff won with an Expelliarmus even as the Gryffindor got her in a jelly leg jinx. The room clapped politely as a seventh year performed the counter jinx on the winner, then the two bowed to each other, grinning good naturedly as they stepped off the raised platform together.

“That was a good example. Because even though the Gryffindor was showing his strength, the Hufflepuff easily dodged most of it and found the moment of weakness when it mattered.” 

“But she was still hit,” Lily murmured with a frown, watching as a pair of Ravenclaw faced off. “Sometimes you have to sacrifice and bring down your own defense to get the winning hit,” Severus answered as he carefully watched his Housemates in their own graceful dance. They were Seventh Years, so he wasn’t very familiar with them, but they were talented, if a bit cautious.

“There,” Severus whispered just before the taller of the two made his move. The aggressor used a spell that acted almost like a whip, glowing faint red, and snapping it at the other’s wand arm. It caught the other off guard and he dropped his wand even as he’d pulled the whip with his own strength, making the caster stumble and drop their own wand. The president judged it as a draw and the two bowed respectfully before joining the crowd again.

“How did you know she was going to strike?” Lily asked amazed. Severus grinned and shrugged humbly. “Body language is really important. The way people move or shift or tense their muscles can surprisingly tell a lot about what they’re about to do. That’s part of dueling, trying to predict your opponent.” 

“You’re really good at this, Sev,” Lily whispered in amazement, mentally taking note of the suggestion and trying her hardest to watch the other duels with that in mind. 

The rest of the club meeting they watched other students, whispering between each other when they saw something worth notice, laughing to themselves as they made up dialog for the ones that seemed to be taking it a little too seriously.

By the end of the night Lily felt a little better, having Severus’ advice and noting some of the spells that the older students used. Severus was walking with her to the first floor with a smile looking calm and happy. She was glad she could spend his birthday with him, glad she’d told his Ravenclaw friends to make it a special day. 

As they parted, Lily took a deep breath and went into her common room. As usual no one looked up, she was mostly ignored. She could not decide now after about a week of it if she liked or hated it. When she entered her room the other three girls looked up, surprised to see her before they’d fallen asleep. Lily ignored them and got out her spell book, searching the index for the disarming spell from the first duel. She didn’t close her curtains around her bed as she had been doing. Instead she sat casually, her wand next to her as if in challenge.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had to have something for Sev's birthday :) He deserves some recognition. Oi, can't believe 1st year is almost over, can't wait to really get into it. Been rereading the series and it's definitely helped me. Also I noticed this fic has been recced a few times and it makes me so happy readers think it worth sharing with others. :) Thanks, guys, for reading, especially those who have been reading this for a couple years now.


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